This blog has been my personal chronicle into the seduction community and all of the lessons I've learned from dating and relationships over the last several years. As such I've reached a graduation of sorts and will continue giving advice and writing about my observations over at The Puerarchy and The Red Pill. I'm especially happy to announce I'll be lead contributor for a weekly advice column! Stop on by and check things out. You'll like what you find.
Good hunting!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
What happens next?
The other day a poster on The Red Pill asked what happens after taking the Red Pill? It's a valid question, and one I'd like to touch upon, but before I do I'd like to provide a quick primer on what it means to take the Red Pill.
The Red Pill is an analogy hailing back to the film The Matrix, when one takes the red pill and is exposed to the true nature of the world around us. In the manosphere that means becoming aware of things like hypergamy, "alpha fucks, beta bucks", how attraction functions and differs between the genders, how society views male sexuality vs female sexuality, and so on.
Once you get a firm handle on the Red Pill way of life, a lot of men tend to become jaded as they see women's manipulations for what they are, how society quite often treats men as walking wallets, cannon fodder, or worse, and how little respect men truly get in this day and age. Along with becoming jaded and cynical, some men lash out and turn the tables on women. This is especially common in those new to pickup once they start to get good results.
So what happens after all this, after men take the Red Pill and are ready to move on once the veil has been lifted? Well, it's really all up to the individual. Some men withdraw inwards and become what many would refer to as the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement, which typically means forgoing women and relationships and focusing on themselves, their job, travel, friendships, and so on. Personally I don't ascribe to this definition as I believe men in the pickup community are also a type of MGTOW. They eschew social rules and do what they want for themselves, social judgement be damned. That is a pretty clear example of going their way if I ever saw one!
Another option for men who've taken the Red Pill is to introduce Red Pill notions to their blue pill friends, those still "plugged in", so to speak. Sometimes they do this with gusto, whereas others do this slowly. Personally I think soldiering on as normal as if nothing has changed, and quietly and subversively introducing friends to Red Pill philosophies and whatnot is the way to go so you don't burn too many bridges. Remember, humans tend to resist change, and embracing the Red Pill is exactly that, as is moving up the social pecking order, which is one very common result (getting good "game").
Watch your back, play nice at work, and enjoy all the freedoms life has to offer.
The Red Pill is an analogy hailing back to the film The Matrix, when one takes the red pill and is exposed to the true nature of the world around us. In the manosphere that means becoming aware of things like hypergamy, "alpha fucks, beta bucks", how attraction functions and differs between the genders, how society views male sexuality vs female sexuality, and so on.
Once you get a firm handle on the Red Pill way of life, a lot of men tend to become jaded as they see women's manipulations for what they are, how society quite often treats men as walking wallets, cannon fodder, or worse, and how little respect men truly get in this day and age. Along with becoming jaded and cynical, some men lash out and turn the tables on women. This is especially common in those new to pickup once they start to get good results.
So what happens after all this, after men take the Red Pill and are ready to move on once the veil has been lifted? Well, it's really all up to the individual. Some men withdraw inwards and become what many would refer to as the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement, which typically means forgoing women and relationships and focusing on themselves, their job, travel, friendships, and so on. Personally I don't ascribe to this definition as I believe men in the pickup community are also a type of MGTOW. They eschew social rules and do what they want for themselves, social judgement be damned. That is a pretty clear example of going their way if I ever saw one!
Another option for men who've taken the Red Pill is to introduce Red Pill notions to their blue pill friends, those still "plugged in", so to speak. Sometimes they do this with gusto, whereas others do this slowly. Personally I think soldiering on as normal as if nothing has changed, and quietly and subversively introducing friends to Red Pill philosophies and whatnot is the way to go so you don't burn too many bridges. Remember, humans tend to resist change, and embracing the Red Pill is exactly that, as is moving up the social pecking order, which is one very common result (getting good "game").
Watch your back, play nice at work, and enjoy all the freedoms life has to offer.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
The Bell Curve
Life operates on a bell curve. On one end there are women who are attracted right off the bat and on the other end there are girls that no matter what you say or do you'll never be seen as attractive and won't have a shot with them. The bulk of women fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum.
Naturals and a lot of PUAs do what I would describe as not having good game, but are good at screening & finding the women who are their type so they get laid quicker and more often. When you zoom out and start looking at the bigger picture, that bulk of women that fall somewhere in the middle of that bell curve, good game IMO is what lets you get them. AFC Adam once said something similar to all of this in that everyone is only attractive up to a certain point and to "punch above your weight" you'll need to have solid game. Typically game will only let you get women about 1 point of SMV higher than yourself. Really tight game may get you a 2 point bump. Using the number system if you're a 7 then you'll usually pull 7s and below. You'll need good game to get 8s and ultra-tight good game to get 9s. So where does the bell curve fit in?
A) Game lets you get women who you're NOT naturally attractive for
B) There are woman out there who will be naturally attracted to you for whatever reason, so with them you don't even have to run game really, you just have to not fuck it up
That guy who is a 7 may be an 8 or 9s perfect guy for some reason and may not need much game to get them. It happens once in a while, as in the Marisa Tomei/George Constanza sense. However, that's an extremely rare occurrence from what I've experienced personally, which is why screening is so important, mainly so you're not fighting an uphill battle all the time, or worse, barking up the wrong tree with women who are just never going to be into you for whatever reason.
Don't get me wrong, learning to tell if a woman is into you or not isn't exactly easy, and it does take a bit of experience to get this down. This is why solid game is still a necessity as far as I'm concerned.
Now the bad news. A good deal of the women who are naturally attracted to you YOU won't be interested in them. In my case I've learned that the ones who naturally are interested are most often one of the following:
There are still the rare instances of women I'm interested in being interested in me, and one of the hottest women I ever pulled, turns out she actually pulled me exactly because of this dynamic. The down side is that was over 10 years ago, that's how rare the good ones can be. Luckily I ran into my current girlfriend and we had a similar mutual attraction.
The silver lining in all of this is that you can improve your SMV by changing things about yourself and improve the threshold on that bell curve where you include more women who will find you naturally attractive. I noticed years ago that the better shape I get in the more women I'm naturally attractive to. And what's nice is that the more women who are attracted to you, the more women you are interested in will start becoming available to you. The same improvement can come from dressing well, driving a nicer car, better posture, and all of the other things that display positive attributes about yourself.
The downside is that there are some of us (the lucky 10%) who will have a much higher percentage of women who women will naturally be attracted to them, whereas some may in fact have a higher percentage of women that will never be attracted to them, AND have a smaller pool of women who are naturally attracted. Life isn't fair. All you can really do is improve yourself so that you have more women naturally attracted and to shift the indifferent ones towards you. Both are my goals, but I think for too long I, like many others, have been fighting the uphill battle of trying to get the ones who are indifferent. Instead we should be focusing on the easier aspect and make more women naturally attracted and screen those women instead. This just makes the most sense in my opinion.
And yes, good looks and being fit are massive benefits when it comes to women finding you naturally attractive. Looks do matter and if you're good looking you're green section of the curve will bigger than someone who's not. Again, life isn't fair. All you can do is work with what you've got and improve where you can.
Naturals and a lot of PUAs do what I would describe as not having good game, but are good at screening & finding the women who are their type so they get laid quicker and more often. When you zoom out and start looking at the bigger picture, that bulk of women that fall somewhere in the middle of that bell curve, good game IMO is what lets you get them. AFC Adam once said something similar to all of this in that everyone is only attractive up to a certain point and to "punch above your weight" you'll need to have solid game. Typically game will only let you get women about 1 point of SMV higher than yourself. Really tight game may get you a 2 point bump. Using the number system if you're a 7 then you'll usually pull 7s and below. You'll need good game to get 8s and ultra-tight good game to get 9s. So where does the bell curve fit in?
A) Game lets you get women who you're NOT naturally attractive for
B) There are woman out there who will be naturally attracted to you for whatever reason, so with them you don't even have to run game really, you just have to not fuck it up
That guy who is a 7 may be an 8 or 9s perfect guy for some reason and may not need much game to get them. It happens once in a while, as in the Marisa Tomei/George Constanza sense. However, that's an extremely rare occurrence from what I've experienced personally, which is why screening is so important, mainly so you're not fighting an uphill battle all the time, or worse, barking up the wrong tree with women who are just never going to be into you for whatever reason.
Don't get me wrong, learning to tell if a woman is into you or not isn't exactly easy, and it does take a bit of experience to get this down. This is why solid game is still a necessity as far as I'm concerned.
- Jailbait
- Daddy issues
- Unattractive/big girls
- Taken (as in a relationship either with a bf or husband)
There are still the rare instances of women I'm interested in being interested in me, and one of the hottest women I ever pulled, turns out she actually pulled me exactly because of this dynamic. The down side is that was over 10 years ago, that's how rare the good ones can be. Luckily I ran into my current girlfriend and we had a similar mutual attraction.
The silver lining in all of this is that you can improve your SMV by changing things about yourself and improve the threshold on that bell curve where you include more women who will find you naturally attractive. I noticed years ago that the better shape I get in the more women I'm naturally attractive to. And what's nice is that the more women who are attracted to you, the more women you are interested in will start becoming available to you. The same improvement can come from dressing well, driving a nicer car, better posture, and all of the other things that display positive attributes about yourself.
The downside is that there are some of us (the lucky 10%) who will have a much higher percentage of women who women will naturally be attracted to them, whereas some may in fact have a higher percentage of women that will never be attracted to them, AND have a smaller pool of women who are naturally attracted. Life isn't fair. All you can really do is improve yourself so that you have more women naturally attracted and to shift the indifferent ones towards you. Both are my goals, but I think for too long I, like many others, have been fighting the uphill battle of trying to get the ones who are indifferent. Instead we should be focusing on the easier aspect and make more women naturally attracted and screen those women instead. This just makes the most sense in my opinion.
And yes, good looks and being fit are massive benefits when it comes to women finding you naturally attractive. Looks do matter and if you're good looking you're green section of the curve will bigger than someone who's not. Again, life isn't fair. All you can do is work with what you've got and improve where you can.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Shit Tests 101
Everyone in the manosphere has probably heard of shit tests by now, but I'm still surprised by how many guys aren't aware of this fundamental concept. So what exactly are shit tests (aka fitness tests)? Shit tests are things women do and/or say to test a man's congruence and actually serve a couple different purposes. Ultimately they are women's way of flirting. What she's doing when she's testing you is judging your response (consciously or not) to see if the two of you are on the same level. In many respects you can think of shit tests as a form of rapport break. For those familiar with AFC Adam's methodology this should be familiar. The problem is that most women have pretty bad game--you don't break rapport until you have some comfort and rapport to actually break--otherwise you're just going to come across as an asshole, which many women in fact do when they shit test too soon. When this happens just think in the back of your mind "aww, she's so cute she's trying to flirt, but just made herself look bad. Here, I'll respond in kind (rapport break for rapport break) and play along so she doesn't feel stupid or look bad in front of her friends".
How do you handle Shit Tests? There are generally four methods for dealing with them:
- Ignore
- Change the subject
- Agree & Amplify (to absurdity)
- Pressure-flip
Ignoring is self-explainatory. If you're in person simply don't respond to her shit test. That could mean walking away, or invoking #2--changing the subject.
Agree & Amplify is when you take her shit test, agree with it, and then take it to the upteenth level of ridiculousness. For example, if she asks if you're gay (which is actually a pretty huge social faux pas when you think about it) and respond with "oh yeah, totally, I suck dick morning noon and night. I'd so suck your dick if you had one!" and just keep going and making it over the top where you're basically making fun of her for saying something stupid or uncouth, to the point it's all just a big joke and she's laughing. That's when you've got her. You've taken her negativity and turned it positive. It's really a meta form of push-pull.
Note: A more advanced version of this is repeated agree/disagree until she's becomes confused and it creates tension, and the back and forth emotional juggling gets a nice buying temperature spike. For example, if she asked if you're gay you'd respond "Oh yeah totally. Actually I'm not. No, I'm kidding a am (while shaking your head and mouthing "no I'm not").
A pressure-flip is when you answer so matter of factly, without emotion, and turn the spotlight around so it's on her, all in an abrupt manner. For example, if she asks what kind of car you drive: "Chevy, howaboutyou?" It's said so abruptly she likely won't be prepared to answer it. That catching her off guard and making her stumble is what you want. The main reason pressure-flips are good is because they demonstrate you're not phased by her bullshit and you can bring it and you're all on the same level. Tyler Durden of RSD does this all the time. His famous response is "what is it about xyz that turns you on?" or something similar. For example, if she says you look old. "What is it about older guys that turns you on so much?" (while holding eye contact) THAT is a powerful pressure-flip. Remember, the meta-level goal/point of pressure-flips are to build tension and then release it. That emotional juggling is push-pull in a nutshell.
Relevant:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/
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