Subtext

I like to tell new guys to imagine all men and women have a split personality. One mind is logical and the other is emotional. If I had to guess, I'd say on average women have a 35/65 split and men the opposite. The behavior of humans is largely driven by a blend of logic and emotion. Since emotions play more heavily with women you can influence their behavior through, you guessed it, appealing to their emotional mind. The way you do this is through subtext. Subtext is an emotional undercurrent to our physical and spoken communications. Because women are generally more in tune with their emotions, by extension they pick up on subtext much more than men. Body language, tonality and inflection, and also the context of the messages we convey all have subtext whether we know it or not. Understanding the subtext and recognizing the emotions you instill in a woman is a critical aspect of male-female communications. A typical example of this that a woman doesn't even have to like a man in order to sleep with him. In fact she could logically despise him, but that doesn't mean a thing if he conveys good subtext and creates the proper emotions within the woman that generates attraction. To outsiders this often creates cognitive dissonance because at the surface it doesn't make logical sense. She didn't like him, in fact she's repulsed by him, but yet she's sleeping with him anyway. Most people will think she's messed up in the head, but once you consider the impact of emotions and subtext in the genders it all starts to become clear.

A real world example is a woman I once dated. I called her high maintenance while playing cards at a friend's house. That situation is exactly what I'm talking about. To her friends at the table me calling her "high maintenance" sounded like an insult. Heck, even to her logical mind it may have seemed like one. But to her emotional mind it spiked an emotion, conveyed some good subtext, and she felt attraction towards me. It's hard to articulate all of the subtext in the situation because the context had several layers to it, but the common association in the community is what most would call cocky/funny, per David DeAngelo. While I agree with that to a point, that's not all it boils down to.

On the flip side, women constantly try to use subtext with men and we often miss their cues. A classic example is the woman at a party or lounge who is trying to get a guy come talk to her. She purpsoely gives off IOIs and in her mind she feels like she's being so obvious that the other women in the room will think she's a slut. To the guy in question he usually ends up thinking "Does that mean she likes me? Should I go over and talk to her?" or something along those lines. If the guy doesn't read the signs properly then the woman can feel rejected. This actually happens pretty often and isn't exclusive to the singles scene and younger generations. Again, understanding subtext is important not only for single guys, but for married men as well. Reading and writing subtext, so to speak, is a huge part of communicating with women. Sadly most men are oblivious to it. On the other hand, here's a case I think most guys do recognize:

Man: "What's wrong?"
Woman: "Nothing."

That's a lot of subtext for just one word. So much so that most men can actually pick up on it.

Another example most of us have dealt with at one point or another:

Man: "How are you feeling?"
Woman: "Fine."

She's basically saying the same thing as above through identical subtext.

Community Resources

I've added some links to community related blogs, which I will be updating as I find them. Most are crap, or turn into crap, but there are some real gems out there. Not surprisingly most of the quality ones are written by some of the top members of the community.

I've also added links to what I consider some key community websites. I strongly recommend joining these as a lot of my edification came from these places in one form or another, so don't underestimate their value.

In addition to the blogs and forums I also added what I consider two of the top indispensable member generated resources, pickup podcast and Decibel's PUA field guide. Absolutely awesome free advice and tips for all levels of skill in the social arts:

Reading List

A lot of guys wonder if the theories and ideas relating to female and evolutionary psychology in the community have any real scientific grounding. They'll be happy to know that much of it comes from the following books which have mountains of research data backing them up. Some of those books include "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine M.D., “Sperm Wars” by Robin Baker, “The Red Queen” by Matt Ridley, “The Selfish Gene” by Richard Dawkins, “The Mating Mind” by Geoffrey Miller, “The Evolution of Desire” by David M. Buss, and "Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene. Simply reading those will give you an incredible depth of knowledge and understanding of the female mind.

I understand that it's a pretty hefty reading list just to learn how to meet women, so two shortcuts I recommend checking out are Magic Bullets by the guys over at Lovesystems.com and the Venusian Arts Handbook at venusianarts.com. Both ebooks are well worth the time and money not only from the base understanding of the female mind, but because they also go a long way to providing a complete package for meeting and attracting women (and yes, even getting some booty).

For a little inspiration of what's possible you absolutely have to check out "The Game" by Neil Strauss. He is virtually single handedly responsible for making the community as widespread as it is today.

Get going on that reading and start putting it to good use.

Introductions

Hello world! A quick bit about myself. I'm your typical 31 year old guy. I'm married, I have a 5 year old boy, and a decent job.

Okay, that's all you get for now because we're not here to talk about me. On to brass tacks: I've got a ton of useless knowledge rattling around upstairs and this blog came to fruition because it's time I start giving back to the community. Plus I need to make some room for new info and something had to go. The result and sole purpose of this blog is to help others like I've been helped in the past in regards to meeting women.

I've been exchanging advice for the better part of a year on various forums and on the street and have a ton of experience. As such, I'm at a point where I'm comfortable giving others advice based on my experience and education in the social arts. Some people call us pickup artists, venusian artists, etc, but I just like to think of it as being sociable. If you're a cool and outgoing guy and you happen to know a few tricks to keep a conversation going in a fun and interesting way, the women will happen naturally. However, it's easier said than done. And how we're going to get to that point is best left for another time. For now, I just wanted to open the doors and get the ball rolling.

If you have questions you'd like to see answered, by all means contact me and I'll try and respond. If you see a point of view I didn't touch on in one of my [future] posts, or I just screw something up , by all means let me know.


Have fun and be safe!