This blog has been my personal chronicle into the seduction community and all of the lessons I've learned from dating and relationships over the last several years. As such I've reached a graduation of sorts and will continue giving advice and writing about my observations over at The Puerarchy and The Red Pill. I'm especially happy to announce I'll be lead contributor for a weekly advice column! Stop on by and check things out. You'll like what you find.
Good hunting!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
What happens next?
The other day a poster on The Red Pill asked what happens after taking the Red Pill? It's a valid question, and one I'd like to touch upon, but before I do I'd like to provide a quick primer on what it means to take the Red Pill.
The Red Pill is an analogy hailing back to the film The Matrix, when one takes the red pill and is exposed to the true nature of the world around us. In the manosphere that means becoming aware of things like hypergamy, "alpha fucks, beta bucks", how attraction functions and differs between the genders, how society views male sexuality vs female sexuality, and so on.
Once you get a firm handle on the Red Pill way of life, a lot of men tend to become jaded as they see women's manipulations for what they are, how society quite often treats men as walking wallets, cannon fodder, or worse, and how little respect men truly get in this day and age. Along with becoming jaded and cynical, some men lash out and turn the tables on women. This is especially common in those new to pickup once they start to get good results.
So what happens after all this, after men take the Red Pill and are ready to move on once the veil has been lifted? Well, it's really all up to the individual. Some men withdraw inwards and become what many would refer to as the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement, which typically means forgoing women and relationships and focusing on themselves, their job, travel, friendships, and so on. Personally I don't ascribe to this definition as I believe men in the pickup community are also a type of MGTOW. They eschew social rules and do what they want for themselves, social judgement be damned. That is a pretty clear example of going their way if I ever saw one!
Another option for men who've taken the Red Pill is to introduce Red Pill notions to their blue pill friends, those still "plugged in", so to speak. Sometimes they do this with gusto, whereas others do this slowly. Personally I think soldiering on as normal as if nothing has changed, and quietly and subversively introducing friends to Red Pill philosophies and whatnot is the way to go so you don't burn too many bridges. Remember, humans tend to resist change, and embracing the Red Pill is exactly that, as is moving up the social pecking order, which is one very common result (getting good "game").
Watch your back, play nice at work, and enjoy all the freedoms life has to offer.
The Red Pill is an analogy hailing back to the film The Matrix, when one takes the red pill and is exposed to the true nature of the world around us. In the manosphere that means becoming aware of things like hypergamy, "alpha fucks, beta bucks", how attraction functions and differs between the genders, how society views male sexuality vs female sexuality, and so on.
Once you get a firm handle on the Red Pill way of life, a lot of men tend to become jaded as they see women's manipulations for what they are, how society quite often treats men as walking wallets, cannon fodder, or worse, and how little respect men truly get in this day and age. Along with becoming jaded and cynical, some men lash out and turn the tables on women. This is especially common in those new to pickup once they start to get good results.
So what happens after all this, after men take the Red Pill and are ready to move on once the veil has been lifted? Well, it's really all up to the individual. Some men withdraw inwards and become what many would refer to as the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement, which typically means forgoing women and relationships and focusing on themselves, their job, travel, friendships, and so on. Personally I don't ascribe to this definition as I believe men in the pickup community are also a type of MGTOW. They eschew social rules and do what they want for themselves, social judgement be damned. That is a pretty clear example of going their way if I ever saw one!
Another option for men who've taken the Red Pill is to introduce Red Pill notions to their blue pill friends, those still "plugged in", so to speak. Sometimes they do this with gusto, whereas others do this slowly. Personally I think soldiering on as normal as if nothing has changed, and quietly and subversively introducing friends to Red Pill philosophies and whatnot is the way to go so you don't burn too many bridges. Remember, humans tend to resist change, and embracing the Red Pill is exactly that, as is moving up the social pecking order, which is one very common result (getting good "game").
Watch your back, play nice at work, and enjoy all the freedoms life has to offer.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
The Bell Curve
Life operates on a bell curve. On one end there are women who are attracted right off the bat and on the other end there are girls that no matter what you say or do you'll never be seen as attractive and won't have a shot with them. The bulk of women fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum.
Naturals and a lot of PUAs do what I would describe as not having good game, but are good at screening & finding the women who are their type so they get laid quicker and more often. When you zoom out and start looking at the bigger picture, that bulk of women that fall somewhere in the middle of that bell curve, good game IMO is what lets you get them. AFC Adam once said something similar to all of this in that everyone is only attractive up to a certain point and to "punch above your weight" you'll need to have solid game. Typically game will only let you get women about 1 point of SMV higher than yourself. Really tight game may get you a 2 point bump. Using the number system if you're a 7 then you'll usually pull 7s and below. You'll need good game to get 8s and ultra-tight good game to get 9s. So where does the bell curve fit in?
A) Game lets you get women who you're NOT naturally attractive for
B) There are woman out there who will be naturally attracted to you for whatever reason, so with them you don't even have to run game really, you just have to not fuck it up
That guy who is a 7 may be an 8 or 9s perfect guy for some reason and may not need much game to get them. It happens once in a while, as in the Marisa Tomei/George Constanza sense. However, that's an extremely rare occurrence from what I've experienced personally, which is why screening is so important, mainly so you're not fighting an uphill battle all the time, or worse, barking up the wrong tree with women who are just never going to be into you for whatever reason.
Don't get me wrong, learning to tell if a woman is into you or not isn't exactly easy, and it does take a bit of experience to get this down. This is why solid game is still a necessity as far as I'm concerned.
Now the bad news. A good deal of the women who are naturally attracted to you YOU won't be interested in them. In my case I've learned that the ones who naturally are interested are most often one of the following:
There are still the rare instances of women I'm interested in being interested in me, and one of the hottest women I ever pulled, turns out she actually pulled me exactly because of this dynamic. The down side is that was over 10 years ago, that's how rare the good ones can be. Luckily I ran into my current girlfriend and we had a similar mutual attraction.
The silver lining in all of this is that you can improve your SMV by changing things about yourself and improve the threshold on that bell curve where you include more women who will find you naturally attractive. I noticed years ago that the better shape I get in the more women I'm naturally attractive to. And what's nice is that the more women who are attracted to you, the more women you are interested in will start becoming available to you. The same improvement can come from dressing well, driving a nicer car, better posture, and all of the other things that display positive attributes about yourself.
The downside is that there are some of us (the lucky 10%) who will have a much higher percentage of women who women will naturally be attracted to them, whereas some may in fact have a higher percentage of women that will never be attracted to them, AND have a smaller pool of women who are naturally attracted. Life isn't fair. All you can really do is improve yourself so that you have more women naturally attracted and to shift the indifferent ones towards you. Both are my goals, but I think for too long I, like many others, have been fighting the uphill battle of trying to get the ones who are indifferent. Instead we should be focusing on the easier aspect and make more women naturally attracted and screen those women instead. This just makes the most sense in my opinion.
And yes, good looks and being fit are massive benefits when it comes to women finding you naturally attractive. Looks do matter and if you're good looking you're green section of the curve will bigger than someone who's not. Again, life isn't fair. All you can do is work with what you've got and improve where you can.
Naturals and a lot of PUAs do what I would describe as not having good game, but are good at screening & finding the women who are their type so they get laid quicker and more often. When you zoom out and start looking at the bigger picture, that bulk of women that fall somewhere in the middle of that bell curve, good game IMO is what lets you get them. AFC Adam once said something similar to all of this in that everyone is only attractive up to a certain point and to "punch above your weight" you'll need to have solid game. Typically game will only let you get women about 1 point of SMV higher than yourself. Really tight game may get you a 2 point bump. Using the number system if you're a 7 then you'll usually pull 7s and below. You'll need good game to get 8s and ultra-tight good game to get 9s. So where does the bell curve fit in?
A) Game lets you get women who you're NOT naturally attractive for
B) There are woman out there who will be naturally attracted to you for whatever reason, so with them you don't even have to run game really, you just have to not fuck it up
That guy who is a 7 may be an 8 or 9s perfect guy for some reason and may not need much game to get them. It happens once in a while, as in the Marisa Tomei/George Constanza sense. However, that's an extremely rare occurrence from what I've experienced personally, which is why screening is so important, mainly so you're not fighting an uphill battle all the time, or worse, barking up the wrong tree with women who are just never going to be into you for whatever reason.
Don't get me wrong, learning to tell if a woman is into you or not isn't exactly easy, and it does take a bit of experience to get this down. This is why solid game is still a necessity as far as I'm concerned.
- Jailbait
- Daddy issues
- Unattractive/big girls
- Taken (as in a relationship either with a bf or husband)
There are still the rare instances of women I'm interested in being interested in me, and one of the hottest women I ever pulled, turns out she actually pulled me exactly because of this dynamic. The down side is that was over 10 years ago, that's how rare the good ones can be. Luckily I ran into my current girlfriend and we had a similar mutual attraction.
The silver lining in all of this is that you can improve your SMV by changing things about yourself and improve the threshold on that bell curve where you include more women who will find you naturally attractive. I noticed years ago that the better shape I get in the more women I'm naturally attractive to. And what's nice is that the more women who are attracted to you, the more women you are interested in will start becoming available to you. The same improvement can come from dressing well, driving a nicer car, better posture, and all of the other things that display positive attributes about yourself.
The downside is that there are some of us (the lucky 10%) who will have a much higher percentage of women who women will naturally be attracted to them, whereas some may in fact have a higher percentage of women that will never be attracted to them, AND have a smaller pool of women who are naturally attracted. Life isn't fair. All you can really do is improve yourself so that you have more women naturally attracted and to shift the indifferent ones towards you. Both are my goals, but I think for too long I, like many others, have been fighting the uphill battle of trying to get the ones who are indifferent. Instead we should be focusing on the easier aspect and make more women naturally attracted and screen those women instead. This just makes the most sense in my opinion.
And yes, good looks and being fit are massive benefits when it comes to women finding you naturally attractive. Looks do matter and if you're good looking you're green section of the curve will bigger than someone who's not. Again, life isn't fair. All you can do is work with what you've got and improve where you can.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Shit Tests 101
Everyone in the manosphere has probably heard of shit tests by now, but I'm still surprised by how many guys aren't aware of this fundamental concept. So what exactly are shit tests (aka fitness tests)? Shit tests are things women do and/or say to test a man's congruence and actually serve a couple different purposes. Ultimately they are women's way of flirting. What she's doing when she's testing you is judging your response (consciously or not) to see if the two of you are on the same level. In many respects you can think of shit tests as a form of rapport break. For those familiar with AFC Adam's methodology this should be familiar. The problem is that most women have pretty bad game--you don't break rapport until you have some comfort and rapport to actually break--otherwise you're just going to come across as an asshole, which many women in fact do when they shit test too soon. When this happens just think in the back of your mind "aww, she's so cute she's trying to flirt, but just made herself look bad. Here, I'll respond in kind (rapport break for rapport break) and play along so she doesn't feel stupid or look bad in front of her friends".
How do you handle Shit Tests? There are generally four methods for dealing with them:
- Ignore
- Change the subject
- Agree & Amplify (to absurdity)
- Pressure-flip
Ignoring is self-explainatory. If you're in person simply don't respond to her shit test. That could mean walking away, or invoking #2--changing the subject.
Agree & Amplify is when you take her shit test, agree with it, and then take it to the upteenth level of ridiculousness. For example, if she asks if you're gay (which is actually a pretty huge social faux pas when you think about it) and respond with "oh yeah, totally, I suck dick morning noon and night. I'd so suck your dick if you had one!" and just keep going and making it over the top where you're basically making fun of her for saying something stupid or uncouth, to the point it's all just a big joke and she's laughing. That's when you've got her. You've taken her negativity and turned it positive. It's really a meta form of push-pull.
Note: A more advanced version of this is repeated agree/disagree until she's becomes confused and it creates tension, and the back and forth emotional juggling gets a nice buying temperature spike. For example, if she asked if you're gay you'd respond "Oh yeah totally. Actually I'm not. No, I'm kidding a am (while shaking your head and mouthing "no I'm not").
A pressure-flip is when you answer so matter of factly, without emotion, and turn the spotlight around so it's on her, all in an abrupt manner. For example, if she asks what kind of car you drive: "Chevy, howaboutyou?" It's said so abruptly she likely won't be prepared to answer it. That catching her off guard and making her stumble is what you want. The main reason pressure-flips are good is because they demonstrate you're not phased by her bullshit and you can bring it and you're all on the same level. Tyler Durden of RSD does this all the time. His famous response is "what is it about xyz that turns you on?" or something similar. For example, if she says you look old. "What is it about older guys that turns you on so much?" (while holding eye contact) THAT is a powerful pressure-flip. Remember, the meta-level goal/point of pressure-flips are to build tension and then release it. That emotional juggling is push-pull in a nutshell.
Relevant:
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Newbie Guide: Qualification and Disqualification
I've come to the conclusion that Qualification is arguably the most meaningful aspect of Game for men from a Red Pill perspective. The phrase “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is getting popular for a reason, and learning what a woman is all about, if she is a good match for you, is crucial if you ever intend on having long term relationships with women that won’t drive you crazy, or take you to the cleaners. Even short term relationships, flings/one-night stands, can greatly benefit from qualifying women, if for no other reason than your own personal safety. Case in point:
One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm
Qualification is also key for developing a real relationship since it’s what drives investment levels. Through qualification you can drive up investment from women and also use it to determine her interest level in you. It’s also a very good way of showing you’re interested in her, and for more than just her looks. This goes a long way to deflecting the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) and Last Minute Resistance (LMR) down the road.
Men with standards have said standards because they're successful with women. In other words they have abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality that most men are faced with. The good news is that you can break free of this causal dynamic by demonstrating standards of your own, and by doing so can actually cause you to be perceived as a man of high status if for no other reason that being discriminating. In a way it’s almost a form of Reflective Preselection (see below). Another way of looking at it is that men that scrape and beg for sex--who lack abundance--cannot afford to qualify women. In other words, “beggars can’t be choosers”. Qualifying women flips this all around and makes you the prize!
Another positive aspect of qualifying women and having standards is that for a woman to be chosen by a man of high standards, it’s flattering to her own ego. The little girl in every woman wants to meet her Prince Charming and be swept off her feet. But more than that, knowing he chose HER, out of all the other women he had available to him, THAT’s powerful stuff. Qualification is best when it’s based on your own personal standards and goals, and the type of women you want to surround yourself with. This begins with establishing goals and setting standards and expectations regarding relationships and behaviors you will and will not tolerate. In short, there are 4 ways of qualifying women:
Qualifying statements
Small hoops
Medium hoops
Large hoops
Qualifying Statements are statements that frame someone in a positive light. For example, "I love how open-minded and free you are" or "I love how friendly you are".
One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm
Qualification is also key for developing a real relationship since it’s what drives investment levels. Through qualification you can drive up investment from women and also use it to determine her interest level in you. It’s also a very good way of showing you’re interested in her, and for more than just her looks. This goes a long way to deflecting the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) and Last Minute Resistance (LMR) down the road.
Men with standards have said standards because they're successful with women. In other words they have abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality that most men are faced with. The good news is that you can break free of this causal dynamic by demonstrating standards of your own, and by doing so can actually cause you to be perceived as a man of high status if for no other reason that being discriminating. In a way it’s almost a form of Reflective Preselection (see below). Another way of looking at it is that men that scrape and beg for sex--who lack abundance--cannot afford to qualify women. In other words, “beggars can’t be choosers”. Qualifying women flips this all around and makes you the prize!
Another positive aspect of qualifying women and having standards is that for a woman to be chosen by a man of high standards, it’s flattering to her own ego. The little girl in every woman wants to meet her Prince Charming and be swept off her feet. But more than that, knowing he chose HER, out of all the other women he had available to him, THAT’s powerful stuff. Qualification is best when it’s based on your own personal standards and goals, and the type of women you want to surround yourself with. This begins with establishing goals and setting standards and expectations regarding relationships and behaviors you will and will not tolerate. In short, there are 4 ways of qualifying women:
Small hoops are typically yes/no questions.
Medium hoops are often follow-on questions to yes/no questions. For example, the small hoop may be "Do you cook?" If she answers yes then you could follow up with "What's your favorite thing to cook and why?"
Large hoops are generally open-ended questions that ask for a lot of investment and tend to be deeply personal questions. For example, "how do you know you're in love?" or "what is your #1 sexual fantasy?"
I usually start with qualifying statements to get the ball rolling and work from smaller hoops to medium and then larger hoops. If for some reason a woman won't jump through the medium or large hoop I've put in front of her then I'll shrink the hoop. If she complies partially I'll still give her props for complying, but still shrink the hoop or try qualifying her on something else. The point in this is that you never punish a woman for compliance, even if her answer didn't meet your standard or expectation.
Managing objections/roadblocks – Disqualification
Disqualification is a powerful tool for mitigating problems during an interaction, such as disqualifying objections before they are made (creating comfort where a woman would be fearful of walking down a dark alley). Disqualification is also useful for breaking rapport (flirting) and can be used to framing others in a negative light. This is useful for getting others to want to fulfill expectations and getting them to qualify themselves to you. This is why qualification and disqualification used in tandem is so powerful.
A common roadblock men run into when meeting new people is the woman’s friends arriving in the middle of an interaction. A great way to prevent this from becoming an issue is by asking her who she’s there with. As people arrive you should then introduce yourself and explain you were just talking about them, followed by killing them with kindness. This works just as well for the alpha female of the group, which is the worst case scenario in my opinion, to defusing potential bad situations when a jealous boyfriend appears out of nowhere. Remember, there’s no reason you shouldn’t talk to everyone. Even if they’re not interested, they may have friends that are. You won’t be able to win over every woman, and that’s okay. When you can’t make a woman your girlfriend it’s time to start thinking of ways of making her into a girl…friend.
Note: An example of Reflective Preselection is taking women with you to a bar or club who aren't interested in you sexually. By having women with you, the women in the venue can be interested in you due to the preselection afforded you by the women you arrived with. Because the women in the venue get interested it can cause the women you arrived with to become interested as well. This phenomenon is a key component of social circle game.
A common roadblock men run into when meeting new people is the woman’s friends arriving in the middle of an interaction. A great way to prevent this from becoming an issue is by asking her who she’s there with. As people arrive you should then introduce yourself and explain you were just talking about them, followed by killing them with kindness. This works just as well for the alpha female of the group, which is the worst case scenario in my opinion, to defusing potential bad situations when a jealous boyfriend appears out of nowhere. Remember, there’s no reason you shouldn’t talk to everyone. Even if they’re not interested, they may have friends that are. You won’t be able to win over every woman, and that’s okay. When you can’t make a woman your girlfriend it’s time to start thinking of ways of making her into a girl…friend.
Note: An example of Reflective Preselection is taking women with you to a bar or club who aren't interested in you sexually. By having women with you, the women in the venue can be interested in you due to the preselection afforded you by the women you arrived with. Because the women in the venue get interested it can cause the women you arrived with to become interested as well. This phenomenon is a key component of social circle game.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Newbie Guide: Setting Goals
It really bothers me sometimes how directionless many guys are these days, particularly those in their early and mid 20s. By your late 20s or early 30s there's really no excuse for not having an answer when I ask you what you're looking for in a relationship, or even if you're interested in traditional relationships in the first place. My point is this:
How can anyone help you find success in life if you don't know what you want out of it?
Don't get me wrong, I was pretty much the same when I was that age, but then again I didn't have the benefit of online blogs, social networking, and all of the wisdom the internet has to offer that it does today. As such, here's my contribution. It works just as well for improving fitness as it does for getting women or earning a degree:
Measurable
Tracking
Staying on track
The measures of success are not whether there are dips in your progress, but whether overall you are progressing in spite of occasional slips.
Having standards and screening for them
How can anyone help you find success in life if you don't know what you want out of it?
Don't get me wrong, I was pretty much the same when I was that age, but then again I didn't have the benefit of online blogs, social networking, and all of the wisdom the internet has to offer that it does today. As such, here's my contribution. It works just as well for improving fitness as it does for getting women or earning a degree:
Setting Goals
Be specific
Write down goals in specific detail so you can clearly see what you plan to attain and how to achieve it. State exactly what you want and how you plan to get the results you seek, such as who can help and what training you may require.
What? What do you want to accomplish (short & long term)? Where? Identify locations & venues you will do the activities.
When? Establish time frames for short & long term goals. What is your target date? Who? Who can help you reach your goals? Do you seek mentoring, expert advice, or wings to help you in field?
When? Establish time frames for short & long term goals. What is your target date? Who? Who can help you reach your goals? Do you seek mentoring, expert advice, or wings to help you in field?
Measurable
Establish metrics to track your progress. Keep a documented record of your successful steps toward your goals.
How many? Do you have a goal of approaching a certain amount of women per day/night/week/month/year?
How long? Do you have a goal of spending a specific amount of time meeting women?
Tracking
Tracking your successes can help encourage you to keep going and give you solid feedback on our efforts and whether something is working or not. The best strategy for sticking to goals is to keep track of your progress on a daily basis by writing it down every day. This very act of writing down activities/steps taken has been shown to improve results and to encourage consistency. It allows you to learn more about your habits, stay accountable to yourself, and keep track of any progress or slips.
A good record includes the following:
- Type of activities.
- How long you spent doing that activities.
- Intensity of the effort. Did you push your own boundaries or did you play it safe?
- Comments about any difficulties to help you in problem solving for the future.
Practicality
Are the goals reasonable and achievable in the time allotted?
Staying on track
Maintaining progress is one of the hardest challenges when trying to make changes to your life, whether it be changing a habit, fitness, or improving your communication skills. Getting started can be difficult, but staying committed is even harder. The key to successfully navigating obstacles to maintaining your progress is to acknowledge slips will happen despite your best efforts to plan for them. The key is to build consistencies and a regular schedule and to get back on that horse as soon as you get thrown off. There are several things you can do to help stay on target:
- Keep it meaningful! Continue to remind yourself of the personal benefits you'll get when you achieve your goals. Setting and keeping meaningful goals that are realistic and attainable will increase the likeliness of success. You are much more likely to strive towards a goal you care about and feel close to accomplishing.
- Reward yourself! Rewards increase the likelihood that you will do it again. When you reach a metric give yourself a reward. Create rewards for both short-term and long-term goals.
- The earlier you catch slips the better. If caught early a slip does NOT have to signal an inevitable downward spiral. Again, slips are inevitable and accepting that and moving on when they happen is the best course of action. The most important thing to do when slips occur is to not let it turn into a string of slips or affect your new habits and collapse your changes in behavior you've been working towards.
- Have a plan for dealing with slips. Again, don’t wait to initiate corrective actions. The most important thing is to get back on track as soon as possible. Do NOT wait until Monday or the beginning of the month to "start fresh".
Learn from the past. You an identify many of these slips from past experience. Think back and identify situations in which you remember having a particularly difficult time sticking to your plan.
Plan in advance. When you know similar situations are coming (i.e. holidays, family vacations, etc), start planning for how to deal with them in advance. If you wait until you are in the midst of the situation you are not likely to come up with an effective solution. Use the information from past struggles to guide your planning and identify past hurdles that will need to be overcome.
The measures of success are not whether there are dips in your progress, but whether overall you are progressing in spite of occasional slips.
Having standards and screening for them
Once you’ve got an idea of what your goals are the next step is to figure out how to screen for them. An example is if you wanted a woman who could cook, is to ask her if she cooks. If she does, by all means tell her that’s great and add in some kino to punctuate the point. If a woman ever complies with your request but doesn’t live up to your standard, be sure to validate her compliance. Never punish compliance even if it’s not the answer or response you were looking for. Instead either shrink the hoop or qualify her on another topic that’s of interest to you. Don't freak out, I'll be covering Qualification in detail pretty soon.
Don't Be That Gal: LPS Edition
Red Pill readers may recognize this.
For those who haven't seen it yet, I strongly recommend going through Girlwriteswhat's video series on Legal Paternal Surrender (LPS). Fantastic stuff as far as I'm concerned. FYI, the link in the image is to the first video in her LPS series.
Newbie Guide: IOIs and IODs
This is the first entry of my Newbie Guide series where I'll be brain-dumping some foundation level knowledge for guys who've just started learning Game.
Indicators of Interest and Disinterest
When women are interested or disinterested in a guy they’ll give signs to watch for called Indicators of Interest (IOI) and Indicators of Disinterest (IOD). There are verbal and non-verbal IOIs and IODs and may be active or passive. The entire reason to look for these is to understand how intersted or disinterested a woman may be in you. Note: if you see a Gatling gun of IOIs (IOIs in quick succession) it's best to move things forward with a quickness! Don't worry, I'll be posing an article on how to properly kino escalate in no time.
Active IOI Examples
She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking (So….)
She giggles and/or laughs at your jokes, even if they’re not funny
She touches you
She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
She smiles at you
While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
She uses a functional opener on you or in any way initiates a conversation
She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
She asks for personal details about you (name, age, job)
She compliments you
She is playful and tries to challenge you
She's punching your arm but laughing
She plays with her hair while talking to you
She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
She introduces you to friends She buys you a drink
She calls you a player or a heart-breaker
On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her #)
On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her)
She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have Isolation with you
She pushes up her breasts (sexual escalation)
Passive IOI Examples
She stands nearby (proximity)
Her friends leave and she stays
She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods
If you move she follows you or waits for you
She doesn't flinch or pull back if you get close
When your bodies touch in some way she doesn’t break the contact
She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut)
The most important IOIs to look for are:
She giggles
She touches you
She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking
A special kind of IOI is an Approach Invitation, which is simply a cue to approach. The most typical approach invitation is a smile with some coy looking away followed by more smiling. However, there are other more subtle Approach Invitations women may give you.
Typical IODs
Distance
Closed body language (crossed arms)
Not facing you
Lack of interest in a topic; not investing
Walking away
Telling you to leave
Note: When receiving IODs it’s important to mirror her body language and give an equal or slightly less amount of investment yourself so to avoid appearing needy. Do this until she begins to engage in the interaction.
Conclusion
As a general rule of thumb when you're just starting out, try to remember that when you get IODs the game isn't over until one of the following occurs:
1. They leave
2. They tell you to go away
As your social acuity improves you'll start to recognize the signs when they're not interested and are ignoring you vs just bsing with their friends and generally being social with the group you are now a part of. For the time being though, stay in there until they leave or tell you to go away. Risk creepy and really push your boundaries. It's honestly the best way to learn where the real lines of what's socially acceptable actually reside.
Indicators of Interest and Disinterest
When women are interested or disinterested in a guy they’ll give signs to watch for called Indicators of Interest (IOI) and Indicators of Disinterest (IOD). There are verbal and non-verbal IOIs and IODs and may be active or passive. The entire reason to look for these is to understand how intersted or disinterested a woman may be in you. Note: if you see a Gatling gun of IOIs (IOIs in quick succession) it's best to move things forward with a quickness! Don't worry, I'll be posing an article on how to properly kino escalate in no time.
Active IOI Examples
She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking (So….)
She giggles and/or laughs at your jokes, even if they’re not funny
She touches you
She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
She smiles at you
While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
She uses a functional opener on you or in any way initiates a conversation
She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
She asks for personal details about you (name, age, job)
She compliments you
She is playful and tries to challenge you
She's punching your arm but laughing
She plays with her hair while talking to you
She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
She introduces you to friends She buys you a drink
She calls you a player or a heart-breaker
On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her #)
On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her)
She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have Isolation with you
She pushes up her breasts (sexual escalation)
Passive IOI Examples
She stands nearby (proximity)
Her friends leave and she stays
She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods
If you move she follows you or waits for you
She doesn't flinch or pull back if you get close
When your bodies touch in some way she doesn’t break the contact
She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut)
The most important IOIs to look for are:
She giggles
She touches you
She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking
A special kind of IOI is an Approach Invitation, which is simply a cue to approach. The most typical approach invitation is a smile with some coy looking away followed by more smiling. However, there are other more subtle Approach Invitations women may give you.
Typical IODs
Distance
Closed body language (crossed arms)
Not facing you
Lack of interest in a topic; not investing
Walking away
Telling you to leave
Note: When receiving IODs it’s important to mirror her body language and give an equal or slightly less amount of investment yourself so to avoid appearing needy. Do this until she begins to engage in the interaction.
Conclusion
As a general rule of thumb when you're just starting out, try to remember that when you get IODs the game isn't over until one of the following occurs:
1. They leave
2. They tell you to go away
As your social acuity improves you'll start to recognize the signs when they're not interested and are ignoring you vs just bsing with their friends and generally being social with the group you are now a part of. For the time being though, stay in there until they leave or tell you to go away. Risk creepy and really push your boundaries. It's honestly the best way to learn where the real lines of what's socially acceptable actually reside.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Red Pill Primer
I happened upon a Reddit thread today asking readers to define certain terms that those in the Red Pill community should be familiar with. Overall I tend to agree with HumanSockPuppet's definitions as they closely align to my own take on things:
Simple, direct, easy to remember. I think he nailed it. The only thing I would add is that PUAs are a subset of MGTOW since they're both groups of men who reject the social expectations to "man up" by doing what's best for women (the feminine imperative). Also, of the MGTOW who don't chase tail, those men are referred to as "going ghost", or "going Galt" in reference to Atlas Shrugged.
Overall all three camps fall under a larger umbrella of the Men's Movement, of which this blog is a part of. Additionally, all three camps can be thought of as being Red Pill savvy. Online many would refer to Red Pill related blogs as the "manosphere".
Lastly, I completely agree with his/her's last comment, that we should all be working together and communicating in a more productive manner. We're still a long way off until the misandry bubble bursts, and working at cross-purposes can really hamstring our progress.
MGTOW consists of men who are abandoning the path prescribed to them by society and feminist agendas: the path that consists of training in their young lives, marrying in their late 20s, working and sacrificing throughout their lives for someone else's benefit, getting divorced, becoming estranged to their children, and eventually dying alone and with no real sense of what their lives were about.
MRA consists of men who are actively battling institutionalized and subrosa sexism in our legal and cultural dialogues - sexism which accommodates a lot of the exploitation and abuse described above, and which MGTOW try to avoid.
PUA consists of men who, either awakened or in the process of awakening, are learning how to get the sex they need without paying the price demanded to them by a media and culture that has women's interests mainly at heart. It's a community about learning the fundamental principles of what makes a man attractive to women, how to become that kind of man, and a methodical guideline of the various stages of attraction and seduction, culminating in sex.
Personally, I think the three groups need to be communicating a lot more than they are.
Simple, direct, easy to remember. I think he nailed it. The only thing I would add is that PUAs are a subset of MGTOW since they're both groups of men who reject the social expectations to "man up" by doing what's best for women (the feminine imperative). Also, of the MGTOW who don't chase tail, those men are referred to as "going ghost", or "going Galt" in reference to Atlas Shrugged.
Overall all three camps fall under a larger umbrella of the Men's Movement, of which this blog is a part of. Additionally, all three camps can be thought of as being Red Pill savvy. Online many would refer to Red Pill related blogs as the "manosphere".
Lastly, I completely agree with his/her's last comment, that we should all be working together and communicating in a more productive manner. We're still a long way off until the misandry bubble bursts, and working at cross-purposes can really hamstring our progress.
Ch-Ch-Changes
The blog is undergoing some changes over the next couple days to spruce up the design and refine some previous posts. I'll also be categorizing things to help new readers find related content.
Would You Take Dating Advice From This Woman?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMJS2k_vBY0
http://jezebel.com/5969902/dear-dudes-here-are-five-reasons-why-you-dont-need-a-dating-coach
(it really pains me to link Jezebel)
Quite frankly she's not an authority on what women respond to. If anything she just sounds butthurt because she doesn't get the attention other women do who she knows are better looking than she is.
I sometimes wonder if feminism was really just a jealousy movement to have women that are good looking knocked down a peg to have to work & live life like non-attractive women do by way of removing their looks privilege. Demonizing male sexuality that values female physical attractiveness plays into this in a big way.
Start looking at feminists. And I mean really look at them and ask yourself is she hot, was she hot when she was younger, and where do you think she sits on a looks scale? I've seen maybe 2 in my life that were actually really hot. A few were hot in their youth, but when their looks faded then suddenly they "saw the light". Funny they didn't need feminism when they were still young and sexy. Go figure.
http://jezebel.com/5969902/dear-dudes-here-are-five-reasons-why-you-dont-need-a-dating-coach
(it really pains me to link Jezebel)
Quite frankly she's not an authority on what women respond to. If anything she just sounds butthurt because she doesn't get the attention other women do who she knows are better looking than she is.
I sometimes wonder if feminism was really just a jealousy movement to have women that are good looking knocked down a peg to have to work & live life like non-attractive women do by way of removing their looks privilege. Demonizing male sexuality that values female physical attractiveness plays into this in a big way.
Start looking at feminists. And I mean really look at them and ask yourself is she hot, was she hot when she was younger, and where do you think she sits on a looks scale? I've seen maybe 2 in my life that were actually really hot. A few were hot in their youth, but when their looks faded then suddenly they "saw the light". Funny they didn't need feminism when they were still young and sexy. Go figure.
Texting Revisited
Texting is by far the #1 form of communication these days. On average women speak about 20,000 words a day and men only speak about 7,000 words a day. The same holds true with texting, maybe not those exact numbers, but I can assure you that women text way more than the average guy does. Because they text so much they're typically much more refined and knowing, hence the need to put this info out there.
The biggest rule of thumb I see guys break is not matching her investment level. Here's two ways to fix this common issue:
1. Wait roughly the same amount of time to text her back as it took her to text you
2. Keep your messages about the same length as the text she sends to you
If she’s taking days to get back to you, and with very short or one-word replies, then you messed up during the interaction and her interest level is very low. Sprucing up your interactions and driving up their investment level before you part ways will fix this.
Before you even get her number during the interaction I STRONGLY recommend coming up with a nickname of some sort, or in some way link the two of you together. Mnemonics are also good for this purpose. The main reason you do this is to avoid the classic “who is this?” response. You want her to remember you, and more importantly, remember that the two of you had fun and hit it off.
Keep in mind that a lot is lost when you text, so it shouldn't last long. After your 3rd or 4th text of fluff you should be establishing a date. From that point forward texting is just to set up logistics for the most part. Don't worry though if it takes 8-10 texts to get to this stage at first. You just don't want to become a text-buddy with lots of texting all the time and no real investment of having to meet up at some point. It's basically a digital friend-zone/pen-pal. Also, if you're texting back and forth, to help prevent this digital friend-zone you should just call. If she's texting you right back then she's got her phone in her hand and will probably answer.
I recommend developing a texting structure that works for you, but remember that people tend to respond in reverse order when communicating digitally. This is equally as important for email, IM, texting, and so on. This is why I recommend leaving them on a high note with something funny or quirky to keep their interest piqued. Doing this gives them something to latch on to, so to speak, to get the ball rolling with them replying to you.
Handling Flakes
We all have had it, so here's a couple ways to avoid it from happening:
Text her around 11am the day you're supposed to go out. Tell her you've got some errands to run after work and may be 15 minutes late and ask her if that's okay. If she's not really interested in going out with you, she'll latch onto this opportunity to back out of the date. While it sucks she may back out, the upside is your time isn't wasted that night.
Another method for avoiding flakes is to go out and do your normal thing and have her come out to meet you. Tell her to text you when she's on her way to the meeting point. This is great because if she flakes it doesn't matter because you're already out doing your thing, so it's no sweat off your ass and your time isn't wasted.
h/t Adam Lyons
Relevant:
http://pickuppodcast.com/2010/07/21/episode-115-the-txt-game-episode/
The biggest rule of thumb I see guys break is not matching her investment level. Here's two ways to fix this common issue:
1. Wait roughly the same amount of time to text her back as it took her to text you
2. Keep your messages about the same length as the text she sends to you
If she’s taking days to get back to you, and with very short or one-word replies, then you messed up during the interaction and her interest level is very low. Sprucing up your interactions and driving up their investment level before you part ways will fix this.
Before you even get her number during the interaction I STRONGLY recommend coming up with a nickname of some sort, or in some way link the two of you together. Mnemonics are also good for this purpose. The main reason you do this is to avoid the classic “who is this?” response. You want her to remember you, and more importantly, remember that the two of you had fun and hit it off.
Keep in mind that a lot is lost when you text, so it shouldn't last long. After your 3rd or 4th text of fluff you should be establishing a date. From that point forward texting is just to set up logistics for the most part. Don't worry though if it takes 8-10 texts to get to this stage at first. You just don't want to become a text-buddy with lots of texting all the time and no real investment of having to meet up at some point. It's basically a digital friend-zone/pen-pal. Also, if you're texting back and forth, to help prevent this digital friend-zone you should just call. If she's texting you right back then she's got her phone in her hand and will probably answer.
I recommend developing a texting structure that works for you, but remember that people tend to respond in reverse order when communicating digitally. This is equally as important for email, IM, texting, and so on. This is why I recommend leaving them on a high note with something funny or quirky to keep their interest piqued. Doing this gives them something to latch on to, so to speak, to get the ball rolling with them replying to you.
Handling Flakes
We all have had it, so here's a couple ways to avoid it from happening:
Text her around 11am the day you're supposed to go out. Tell her you've got some errands to run after work and may be 15 minutes late and ask her if that's okay. If she's not really interested in going out with you, she'll latch onto this opportunity to back out of the date. While it sucks she may back out, the upside is your time isn't wasted that night.
Another method for avoiding flakes is to go out and do your normal thing and have her come out to meet you. Tell her to text you when she's on her way to the meeting point. This is great because if she flakes it doesn't matter because you're already out doing your thing, so it's no sweat off your ass and your time isn't wasted.
h/t Adam Lyons
Relevant:
http://pickuppodcast.com/2010/07/21/episode-115-the-txt-game-episode/
Why Men Are Slackers And Women Are Single
Why Men Are Slackers And Women Are Single
Crap article, excellent comments. What people don't understand is that men going their own way and dropping out of the system is the equivalent of women getting out of the kitchen, burning bras, etc. It's the 21st century male equivalent of men breaking free of traditional gender roles.
Crap article, excellent comments. What people don't understand is that men going their own way and dropping out of the system is the equivalent of women getting out of the kitchen, burning bras, etc. It's the 21st century male equivalent of men breaking free of traditional gender roles.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Negs, glorious negs...
I'd like to address all the negativity towards negs, which is the #1 complaint I've seen over the years about the seduction community. What I've noticed is that most people who are complaining have an idea in their head about what Negs are, but it's far from the reality as they haven't examined the theory behind them, nor do they understand their intended usage. In fact I'd wager most critics have never actually listened to Mystery's take on the damn things (he's the guy who came up with the term). Here he is giving some examples of negs.
Mystery explains Negs
Notice all they are are witty playful busting. The reason he does this is to show he's game, that the two of them are on the same level. Hot women usually have guys being very weak and supplicating. He does the opposite and challenges them, sometimes brashly.
Here's a bit Neg Theory right out of the Mystery Method book:
Mystery explains Negs
Notice all they are are witty playful busting. The reason he does this is to show he's game, that the two of them are on the same level. Hot women usually have guys being very weak and supplicating. He does the opposite and challenges them, sometimes brashly.
Here's a bit Neg Theory right out of the Mystery Method book:
NEG: Verb, noun: a statment or action made to briefly and without insult disqualify oneself from being perceived as a potential suitor.
Usage: to neg someone, to be negged, to throw negs, to master negging.
A neg is not an insult but a negative social value judgement that is telegraphed. It's the same as if you pulled out a tissue and blew your nose. There's nothing insulting about blowing your nose. You haven't explicitly rejected her. But at the same time , she will feel that you aren't even trying to impress her. This makes her curious as to why and makes you a challenge. (emphasis mine)
Know Your Options
This post is directed squarely at men thinking about getting married. I strongly recommend reading the following site. It's a great primer on what you'll face with Marriage 2.0 given the current legal climate and the anti-male bias that's so prevalent in Family Courts.
http://dontmarry.wordpress.com
If you've read all that and you still think you'll want to get married some day, I STRONGLY recommend waiting until you're well into your 30s. Here's why: men in their 30s with a good job, and stays in shape, is pretty much the equivalent attractiveness to women as the big tittied 19 year old blond bombshell is to most guys.
Most people have no clue how the paradigm flip-flops as we age. The broad strokes are that guys get more attractive while women get less attractive. This is nature in action. Women are generally attracted to the hallmarks of a good provider and protector. In the modern world that translates to status and power, which typically goes up for men as they age. Meanwhile men are attracted to the hallmarks of fertility, which goes down as women age. By the mid 30s the whole attraction paradigm flips. Women hit the wall and guys suddenly find women hitting on them more than ever, especially the women their own age on up who are making a last ditch effort to find a quality guy while they still can.
Ask yourselves something and be honest: why settle for an aging 30something when you can just as easily get a good 20something who's in all likelihood going to be much better looking, have more energy, less baggage like kids and an ex or three, not to mention a far lower partner count? I think the real reason guys settle for shrews, abusive women, women with loads of baggage, and so on is because most guys just lack the game necessary to have options and better prospects. Follow my advice, Roissy/Heartiste, Rollo Tomassi, Dalrock, Adam Lyons, and Athol Kay, and I can guarantee you'll have a much better sex life, and a more enriching life overall as you steer clear of the crazies and drama-filled chicks that will just give you grief down the line.
http://dontmarry.wordpress.com
If you've read all that and you still think you'll want to get married some day, I STRONGLY recommend waiting until you're well into your 30s. Here's why: men in their 30s with a good job, and stays in shape, is pretty much the equivalent attractiveness to women as the big tittied 19 year old blond bombshell is to most guys.
Most people have no clue how the paradigm flip-flops as we age. The broad strokes are that guys get more attractive while women get less attractive. This is nature in action. Women are generally attracted to the hallmarks of a good provider and protector. In the modern world that translates to status and power, which typically goes up for men as they age. Meanwhile men are attracted to the hallmarks of fertility, which goes down as women age. By the mid 30s the whole attraction paradigm flips. Women hit the wall and guys suddenly find women hitting on them more than ever, especially the women their own age on up who are making a last ditch effort to find a quality guy while they still can.
Ask yourselves something and be honest: why settle for an aging 30something when you can just as easily get a good 20something who's in all likelihood going to be much better looking, have more energy, less baggage like kids and an ex or three, not to mention a far lower partner count? I think the real reason guys settle for shrews, abusive women, women with loads of baggage, and so on is because most guys just lack the game necessary to have options and better prospects. Follow my advice, Roissy/Heartiste, Rollo Tomassi, Dalrock, Adam Lyons, and Athol Kay, and I can guarantee you'll have a much better sex life, and a more enriching life overall as you steer clear of the crazies and drama-filled chicks that will just give you grief down the line.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Back in Action
Took some time away from the blog since I didn't feel it added much to the community, but I can see that was a mistake as a lot of what I've been posting on various dating sites could use repeating. Expect more active entries from me in the future.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Rating Women
Some people don't think rating women's looks is useful, but I still think it's got merit. I used to like the "would do, and brag; would do and keep quite; wouldn't do even if you paid me" method, but it doesn't really communicate the quality you regard the woman in terms of looks, presentation, character, or whatever. Instead of ranking girls on a scale of 1 to 10, I came up with this today because I needed something more granular to compare this one chick a few of us at work know to some celebrities a coworker named for reference. I put the girl at a 6.5 and my coworker put Mila Kunis at a 10, but to me she's an 8 or 8.5. He figured that meant that the girl we were talking about wasn't that far off from what he'd consider a 10, but in reality she way less attractive--in my book a 6 is a huge difference from an 8. On to the new system....
On a scale of 1-100 the girl I know was a 68 and Kunis is an 88 IMO. Imagine those like school grades with anything under a 60 "failing" (to be attractive at all).
Kunis = B+
Girl I know = D+
I think this is a much better way to articulate how we perceive one's qualities than a simple 1-10 rating.
90-100 = A
80-89 = B
70-79 = C
60-69 = D
1-59 = F
Also, if they're on the low end of a letter grade give them a minus (-) and if they're on the high end of a grade give them a plus (+).
On a scale of 1-100 the girl I know was a 68 and Kunis is an 88 IMO. Imagine those like school grades with anything under a 60 "failing" (to be attractive at all).
Kunis = B+
Girl I know = D+
I think this is a much better way to articulate how we perceive one's qualities than a simple 1-10 rating.
90-100 = A
80-89 = B
70-79 = C
60-69 = D
1-59 = F
Also, if they're on the low end of a letter grade give them a minus (-) and if they're on the high end of a grade give them a plus (+).
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Quick tips for getting started
I was asked today for some basic tips on how to get going in the community. Here's my short list of the best ways to get good without all the crap most guys get inundated with when starting out:
1. Stop reading, stop watching videos, and get out there and start approaching. 30 minutes a day is all it really takes, plus a few hours at a bar or club once a week. This translates to about 5-10 approaches a day, depending on how long you can keep things going with each woman you talk to. Only look stuff up online or read "PUA" forums when you get stuck or are having a problem diagnosing a sticking point.
2. Turn off your brain's verbal fliter and blurt out whatever it was you wanted to say, but are usually to self-conscious to say. Most of the stuff guys think, but don't say is great stuff and would be great cocky funny--and that's a good thing. Granted you'll still need to make sure the stuff you're saying is situationally acceptable. You can't just blurt out "Tits what?" in the middle of church, but if you're at a bar and mishear someone and it sounded like they said something about tits then go for it.
3. Push your boundaries. This kinda relates to the point above. Look at what you think your boundaries are, then take a giant step over that line. Guess what, you're still not even close. Take one more giant step past that line and you're starting to get close to where true boundaries reside. The point I'm trying to make is that you can usually get away with a lot more than most guys realize, and being bold, dominant, and aggressive is hugely attractive to women. They're far more likely to forgive a guy that moves too fast than a guy who doesn't make a move at all. In the former you might hear "whoa, slow down tiger!" and later on she'll be ready for that kind of stuff. In the latter case he gets the buddy hug at the end of the date, she tells her friend "He's nice, but there's no spark", and she calls up the first guy for a booty call.
In other words take risks. When you're learning YOU WANT TO GET BLOWN OUT!!!! That's the only way to really find out where the line is at. Once you've been going overboard like that then slowly ratchet things back. You'll become calibrated so much faster this way than slowly trying to push your boundaries inch by inch.
4. This point is going to reinforce #3.....YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. If you don't go for it now then the chance is probably lost forever. Also, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN! Who cares if you blow it and she doesn't give you her number. There's more where she came from. Don't be a pussy, have some balls and just go for it!
1. Stop reading, stop watching videos, and get out there and start approaching. 30 minutes a day is all it really takes, plus a few hours at a bar or club once a week. This translates to about 5-10 approaches a day, depending on how long you can keep things going with each woman you talk to. Only look stuff up online or read "PUA" forums when you get stuck or are having a problem diagnosing a sticking point.
2. Turn off your brain's verbal fliter and blurt out whatever it was you wanted to say, but are usually to self-conscious to say. Most of the stuff guys think, but don't say is great stuff and would be great cocky funny--and that's a good thing. Granted you'll still need to make sure the stuff you're saying is situationally acceptable. You can't just blurt out "Tits what?" in the middle of church, but if you're at a bar and mishear someone and it sounded like they said something about tits then go for it.
3. Push your boundaries. This kinda relates to the point above. Look at what you think your boundaries are, then take a giant step over that line. Guess what, you're still not even close. Take one more giant step past that line and you're starting to get close to where true boundaries reside. The point I'm trying to make is that you can usually get away with a lot more than most guys realize, and being bold, dominant, and aggressive is hugely attractive to women. They're far more likely to forgive a guy that moves too fast than a guy who doesn't make a move at all. In the former you might hear "whoa, slow down tiger!" and later on she'll be ready for that kind of stuff. In the latter case he gets the buddy hug at the end of the date, she tells her friend "He's nice, but there's no spark", and she calls up the first guy for a booty call.
In other words take risks. When you're learning YOU WANT TO GET BLOWN OUT!!!! That's the only way to really find out where the line is at. Once you've been going overboard like that then slowly ratchet things back. You'll become calibrated so much faster this way than slowly trying to push your boundaries inch by inch.
4. This point is going to reinforce #3.....YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. If you don't go for it now then the chance is probably lost forever. Also, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN! Who cares if you blow it and she doesn't give you her number. There's more where she came from. Don't be a pussy, have some balls and just go for it!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Misconceptions Part 2
Humans have been reproducing from the beginning. Evolutionary psychology and biology shows us how various behaviors generate attraction. Game is teaching men those causal relationships and how to trigger them. One of my favorite descriptions of Game is "Applied sociobiology".
I personally liken Game to being a highly focused version of public speaking. Imagine you’re giving a speech in front of a crowded room. That anxiety you feel, that stage fright, that’s what men feel when they approach women they find attractive. Talking to women is reallyjust another version of public speaking. Fortunately it’s something you can get better at.
By learning how to be a better communicator with women through learning Game men can be more themselves. In fact Game merely lets a man’s true self shine through instead of being the nervous mess women usually see when they get approached by average guys. Through practice and repetition the guys get used to that feeling of anxiety and it allows men to be fun, at ease, and more natural. Why anyone would have a problem with that is beyond me, don’t you agree?
Furthermore, to put it bluntly, I see a lot of anti-Game rhetoric based purely on misconceptions and feminist shaming attempts levied at those who support and utilize Game. Game itself is amoral. How it is applied is what matters. Some men use it with the goal in mind of having sex with as many women as they can whereas others use it for that special snowflake they’ve have a crush on for 6 years. (most men who get into this stuff are of the latter variety--and by a wide margin) In either case, regardless of what you think of the practicioner’s goals, there are two major benefits that transcends getting laid or getting into a relationship:
1. Game gives men control over how they spend their energy interacting with women.
2. Game gives men the tools to qualify women.
Until now you either had “it” or you didn’t, and if you didn’t you were lost in the deep end of the pool doing your best to stay afloat hoping, praying that it’s an attractive lifeguard that pulls you out.
Game is a coin with two sides. On one side it’s the training wheels, the pickup stuff people see on TV or the internet or read in books that comes off as weird and gamey. On the other side are the more meaningful lasting aspects (IMO) that gets mens’ heads straight and allows them to take the pussy down from the pedestal and builds character, strength, confidence, and teaches men that there’s more to women than the sum of their T&A.
I personally liken Game to being a highly focused version of public speaking. Imagine you’re giving a speech in front of a crowded room. That anxiety you feel, that stage fright, that’s what men feel when they approach women they find attractive. Talking to women is reallyjust another version of public speaking. Fortunately it’s something you can get better at.
By learning how to be a better communicator with women through learning Game men can be more themselves. In fact Game merely lets a man’s true self shine through instead of being the nervous mess women usually see when they get approached by average guys. Through practice and repetition the guys get used to that feeling of anxiety and it allows men to be fun, at ease, and more natural. Why anyone would have a problem with that is beyond me, don’t you agree?
Furthermore, to put it bluntly, I see a lot of anti-Game rhetoric based purely on misconceptions and feminist shaming attempts levied at those who support and utilize Game. Game itself is amoral. How it is applied is what matters. Some men use it with the goal in mind of having sex with as many women as they can whereas others use it for that special snowflake they’ve have a crush on for 6 years. (most men who get into this stuff are of the latter variety--and by a wide margin) In either case, regardless of what you think of the practicioner’s goals, there are two major benefits that transcends getting laid or getting into a relationship:
1. Game gives men control over how they spend their energy interacting with women.
2. Game gives men the tools to qualify women.
Until now you either had “it” or you didn’t, and if you didn’t you were lost in the deep end of the pool doing your best to stay afloat hoping, praying that it’s an attractive lifeguard that pulls you out.
Game is a coin with two sides. On one side it’s the training wheels, the pickup stuff people see on TV or the internet or read in books that comes off as weird and gamey. On the other side are the more meaningful lasting aspects (IMO) that gets mens’ heads straight and allows them to take the pussy down from the pedestal and builds character, strength, confidence, and teaches men that there’s more to women than the sum of their T&A.
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