The Bell Curve

Life operates on a bell curve. On one end there are women who are attracted right off the bat and on the other end there are girls that no matter what you say or do you'll never be seen as attractive and won't have a shot with them. The bulk of women fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum. 

Naturals and a lot of PUAs do what I would describe as not having good game, but are good at screening & finding the women who are their type so they get laid quicker and more often. When you zoom out and start looking at the bigger picture, that bulk of women that fall somewhere in the middle of that bell curve, good game IMO is what lets you get them. AFC Adam once said something similar to all of this in that everyone is only attractive up to a certain point and to "punch above your weight" you'll need to have solid game. Typically game will only let you get women about 1 point of SMV higher than yourself. Really tight game may get you a 2 point bump. Using the number system if you're a 7 then you'll usually pull 7s and below. You'll need good game to get 8s and ultra-tight good game to get 9s. So where does the bell curve fit in? 


A) Game lets you get women who you're NOT naturally attractive for

B) There are woman out there who will be naturally attracted to you for whatever reason, so with them you don't even have to run game really, you just have to not fuck it up 

That guy who is a 7 may be an 8 or 9s perfect guy for some reason and may not need much game to get them. It happens once in a while, as in the Marisa Tomei/George Constanza sense. However, that's an extremely rare occurrence from what I've experienced personally, which is why screening is so important, mainly so you're not fighting an uphill battle all the time, or worse, barking up the wrong tree with women who are just never going to be into you for whatever reason. 

Don't get me wrong, learning to tell if a woman is into you or not isn't exactly easy, and it does take a bit of experience to get this down. This is why solid game is still a necessity as far as I'm concerned. 

Now the bad news. A good deal of the women who are naturally attracted to you YOU won't be interested in them. In my case I've learned that the ones who naturally are interested are most often one of the following:

• Jailbait
• Daddy issues
• Unattractive/big girls
• Taken (as in a relationship either with a bf or husband)

There are still the rare instances of women I'm interested in being interested in me, and one of the hottest women I ever pulled, turns out she actually pulled me exactly because of this dynamic. The down side is that was over 10 years ago, that's how rare the good ones can be. Luckily I ran into my current girlfriend and we had a similar mutual attraction. 

The silver lining in all of this is that you can improve your SMV by changing things about yourself and improve the threshold on that bell curve where you include more women who will find you naturally attractive. I noticed years ago that the better shape I get in the more women I'm naturally attractive to. And what's nice is that the more women who are attracted to you, the more women you are interested in will start becoming available to you. The same improvement can come from dressing well, driving a nicer car, better posture, and all of the other things that display positive attributes about yourself.

The downside is that there are some of us (the lucky 10%) who will have a much higher percentage of women who women will naturally be attracted to them, whereas some may in fact have a higher percentage of women that will never be attracted to them, AND have a smaller pool of women who are naturally attracted. Life isn't fair. All you can really do is improve yourself so that you have more women naturally attracted and to shift the indifferent ones towards you. Both are my goals, but I think for too long I, like many others, have been fighting the uphill battle of trying to get the ones who are indifferent. Instead we should be focusing on the easier aspect and make more women naturally attracted and screen those women instead. This just makes the most sense in my opinion. 

And yes, good looks and being fit are massive benefits when it comes to women finding you naturally attractive. Looks do matter and if you're good looking you're green section of the curve will bigger than someone who's not. Again, life isn't fair. All you can do is work with what you've got and improve where you can.

Shit Tests 101

Everyone in the manosphere has probably heard of shit tests by now, but I'm still surprised by how many guys aren't aware of this fundamental concept. So what exactly are shit tests (aka fitness tests)? Shit tests are things women do and/or say to test a man's congruence and actually serve a couple different purposes. Ultimately they are women's way of flirting. What she's doing when she's testing you is judging your response (consciously or not) to see if the two of you are on the same level. In many respects you can think of shit tests as a form of rapport break. For those familiar with AFC Adam's methodology this should be familiar. The problem is that most women have pretty bad game--you don't break rapport until you have some comfort and rapport to actually break--otherwise you're just going to come across as an asshole, which many women in fact do when they shit test too soon. When this happens just think in the back of your mind "aww, she's so cute she's trying to flirt, but just made herself look bad. Here, I'll respond in kind (rapport break for rapport break) and play along so she doesn't feel stupid or look bad in front of her friends". 

How do you handle Shit Tests? There are generally four methods for dealing with them:

• Ignore 
• Change the subject 
• Agree & Amplify (to absurdity) 
• Pressure-flip 

Ignoring is self-explainatory. If you're in person simply don't respond to her shit test. That could mean walking away, or invoking #2--changing the subject. 

Agree & Amplify is when you take her shit test, agree with it, and then take it to the upteenth level of ridiculousness. For example, if she asks if you're gay (which is actually a pretty huge social faux pas when you think about it) and respond with "oh yeah, totally, I suck dick morning noon and night. I'd so suck your dick if you had one!" and just keep going and making it over the top where you're basically making fun of her for saying something stupid or uncouth, to the point it's all just a big joke and she's laughing. That's when you've got her. You've taken her negativity and turned it positive. It's really a meta form of push-pull. 

Note: A more advanced version of this is repeated agree/disagree until she's becomes confused and it creates tension, and the back and forth emotional juggling gets a nice buying temperature spike. For example, if she asked if you're gay you'd respond "Oh yeah totally. Actually I'm not. No, I'm kidding a am (while shaking your head and mouthing "no I'm not"). 

A pressure-flip is when you answer so matter of factly, without emotion, and turn the spotlight around so it's on her, all in an abrupt manner. For example, if she asks what kind of car you drive: "Chevy, howaboutyou?" It's said so abruptly she likely won't be prepared to answer it. That catching her off guard and making her stumble is what you want. The main reason pressure-flips are good is because they demonstrate you're not phased by her bullshit and you can bring it and you're all on the same level. Tyler Durden of RSD does this all the time. His famous response is "what is it about xyz that turns you on?" or something similar. For example, if she says you look old. "What is it about older guys that turns you on so much?" (while holding eye contact) THAT is a powerful pressure-flip. Remember, the meta-level goal/point of pressure-flips are to build tension and then release it. That emotional juggling is push-pull in a nutshell. 

Relevant: 

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/ 

COTWA recommended viewing

This comes courtesy of Community of the Wrongly Accused
Source: TopCriminalJusticeDegrees.org

Newbie Guide: Qualification and Disqualification

I've come to the conclusion that Qualification is arguably the most meaningful aspect of Game for men from a Red Pill perspective. The phrase “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is getting popular for a reason, and learning what a woman is all about, if she is a good match for you, is crucial if you ever intend on having long term relationships with women that won’t drive you crazy, or take you to the cleaners. Even short term relationships, flings/one-night stands, can greatly benefit from qualifying women, if for no other reason than your own personal safety. Case in point:

One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm

Qualification is also key for developing a real relationship since it’s what drives investment levels. Through qualification you can drive up investment from women and also use it to determine her interest level in you. It’s also a very good way of showing you’re interested in her, and for more than just her looks. This goes a long way to deflecting the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) and Last Minute Resistance (LMR) down the road.

Men with standards have said standards because they're successful with women. In other words they have abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality that most men are faced with. The good news is that you can break free of this causal dynamic by demonstrating standards of your own, and by doing so can actually cause you to be perceived as a man of high status if for no other reason that being discriminating. In a way it’s almost a form of Reflective Preselection (see below). Another way of looking at it is that men that scrape and beg for sex--who lack abundance--cannot afford to qualify women. In other words, “beggars can’t be choosers”. Qualifying women flips this all around and makes you the prize!

Another positive aspect of qualifying women and having standards is that for a woman to be chosen by a man of high standards, it’s flattering to her own ego. The little girl in every woman wants to meet her Prince Charming and be swept off her feet. But more than that, knowing he chose HER, out of all the other women he had available to him, THAT’s powerful stuff. Qualification is best when it’s based on your own personal standards and goals, and the type of women you want to surround yourself with. This begins with establishing goals and setting standards and expectations regarding relationships and behaviors you will and will not tolerate. In short, there are 4 ways of qualifying women:

Qualifying statements

Small hoops

Medium hoops

Large hoops

Qualifying Statements are statements that frame someone in a positive light. For example, "I love how open-minded and free you are" or "I love how friendly you are". 

Small hoops are typically yes/no questions. 

Medium hoops are often follow-on questions to yes/no questions. For example, the small hoop may be "Do you cook?" If she answers yes then you could follow up with "What's your favorite thing to cook and why?" 

Large hoops are generally open-ended questions that ask for a lot of investment and tend to be deeply personal questions. For example, "how do you know you're in love?" or "what is your #1 sexual fantasy?" 

I usually start with qualifying statements to get the ball rolling and work from smaller hoops to medium and then larger hoops. If for some reason a woman won't jump through the medium or large hoop I've put in front of her then I'll shrink the hoop. If she complies partially I'll still give her props for complying, but still shrink the hoop or try qualifying her on something else. The point in this is that you never punish a woman for compliance, even if her answer didn't meet your standard or expectation. 

Managing objections/roadblocks – Disqualification

Disqualification is a powerful tool for mitigating problems during an interaction, such as disqualifying objections before they are made (creating comfort where a woman would be fearful of walking down a dark alley). Disqualification is also useful for breaking rapport (flirting) and can be used to framing others in a negative light. This is useful for getting others to want to fulfill expectations and getting them to qualify themselves to you. This is why qualification and disqualification used in tandem is so powerful.

A common roadblock men run into when meeting new people is the woman’s friends arriving in the middle of an interaction. A great way to prevent this from becoming an issue is by asking her who she’s there with. As people arrive you should then introduce yourself and explain you were just talking about them, followed by killing them with kindness. This works just as well for the alpha female of the group, which is the worst case scenario in my opinion, to defusing potential bad situations when a jealous boyfriend appears out of nowhere. Remember, there’s no reason you shouldn’t talk to everyone. Even if they’re not interested, they may have friends that are. You won’t be able to win over every woman, and that’s okay. When you can’t make a woman your girlfriend it’s time to start thinking of ways of making her into a girl…friend.

Note: An example of Reflective Preselection is taking women with you to a bar or club who aren't interested in you sexually. By having women with you, the women in the venue can be interested in you due to the preselection afforded you by the women you arrived with. Because the women in the venue get interested it can cause the women you arrived with to become interested as well. This phenomenon is a key component of social circle game.