Thursday, August 19, 2010

Quick tips for getting started

I was asked today for some basic tips on how to get going in the community. Here's my short list of the best ways to get good without all the crap most guys get inundated with when starting out:

1. Stop reading, stop watching videos, and get out there and start approaching. 30 minutes a day is all it really takes, plus a few hours at a bar or club once a week. This translates to about 5-10 approaches a day, depending on how long you can keep things going with each woman you talk to. Only look stuff up online or read "PUA" forums when you get stuck or are having a problem diagnosing a sticking point.

2. Turn off your brain's verbal fliter and blurt out whatever it was you wanted to say, but are usually to self-conscious to say. Most of the stuff guys think, but don't say is great stuff and would be great cocky funny--and that's a good thing. Granted you'll still need to make sure the stuff you're saying is situationally acceptable. You can't just blurt out "Tits what?" in the middle of church, but if you're at a bar and mishear someone and it sounded like they said something about tits then go for it.

3. Push your boundaries. This kinda relates to the point above. Look at what you think your boundaries are, then take a giant step over that line. Guess what, you're still not even close. Take one more giant step past that line and you're starting to get close to where true boundaries reside. The point I'm trying to make is that you can usually get away with a lot more than most guys realize, and being bold, dominant, and aggressive is hugely attractive to women. They're far more likely to forgive a guy that moves too fast than a guy who doesn't make a move at all. In the former you might hear "whoa, slow down tiger!" and later on she'll be ready for that kind of stuff. In the latter case he gets the buddy hug at the end of the date, she tells her friend "He's nice, but there's no spark", and she calls up the first guy for a booty call.

In other words take risks. When you're learning YOU WANT TO GET BLOWN OUT!!!! That's the only way to really find out where the line is at. Once you've been going overboard like that then slowly ratchet things back. You'll become calibrated so much faster this way than slowly trying to push your boundaries inch by inch.

4. This point is going to reinforce #3.....YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. If you don't go for it now then the chance is probably lost forever. Also, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN! Who cares if you blow it and she doesn't give you her number. There's more where she came from. Don't be a pussy, have some balls and just go for it!