Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Flake Avoidance

First things first, are you seeding a reason to see them again later, or are you just leaving it handing with something like "lets hang out sometime"? One of the most common reasons women flake is because things are too fleeting. If you're talking, things are going well, etc., then don't leave. Ride things out as long as possible unless you feel yourself wearing out your welcome. The longer your conversation, the better your chances of getting her invested into you. Investment is what builds attraction and will cause them to want to see you again. Here's a few simple steps to make that happen that should do so in a way that cuts down your flake rate:

A) Always seed a date down the road. Do NOT leave it hanging with something non-specific.

B) Don't get her contact info right away if you can help it. Let it simmer after mentioning doing something.

C) When you close, do NOT ask for the number. Say some variation of "What's a good way of keeping in touch?" If she gives you her number, then great. If she gives you an email then take that as a sign you have more work to do. If she gives you her Facebook info then it's actually a good thing. Treat it like text game and work your way up from there.

D) When setting up the date down the road (which you seeded earlier in the interaction), ask when she's free in the next couple weeks. This will filter out the ones who will say they're too busy since women rarely know what they're doing every night for the next 2 weeks straight. If she really wants to go out with you she'll give up at least one night (or more) that she's available.

Around 10am the morning of the day you're supposed to meet send her the following:
"Hey, I've got a quick errand to run after work and will be 5-10 minutes late tonight. Is that cool?"
If she's sketchy and going to flake then she'll likely latch onto this to excuse herself from the date. This will significantly cut down on time you waste getting stood up.

h/t Adam Lyons

Monday, March 1, 2010

Competition Anxiety

One fear all women seem to have is that they might be traded in for a newer model or that if they split with their man he'll turn out better for it than they will. This is why showing her you can flirt, get attention from buxom nubile young things, etc is such a powerful thing for men. And if you have the willingness to walk it'll put them on best behavior. She'll hate you for having options, but she'll love you even more and for 3 reasons:

1. You're alpha and chicks would rather have part of an alpha than all of a beta (see also: Tiger Woods).

2. Prince Charming Theory. You have options and you chose her as the best of the best, so she's supremely validated by you picking her.

3. "Living well is the best revenge". Her knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that if she ever did leave you that she'd be easily replaced, and probably by a younger, hornier, better looking woman that it negates the smug satisfaction "he's a loser, he's nothing without me" blah blah blah that women would use to rationalize feeling better about a breakup. The realization it's no sweat off your ass and in fact she could be doing the man a huge favor, well, that's the nuclear bomb of psychological warfare on a woman's mind.

1 makes you in demand. 2 gives her validation and security. 3 gives her fear of loss and removes fear of loss from yourself (at least in her mind), so she'll be drawn to you because in her mind you have abundance and that goes back to the first point about being in demand. It also serves to keep her in check where most men fail.