Shit Tests 101

Everyone in the manosphere has probably heard of shit tests by now, but I'm still surprised by how many guys aren't aware of this fundamental concept. So what exactly are shit tests (aka fitness tests)? Shit tests are things women do and/or say to test a man's congruence and actually serve a couple different purposes. Ultimately they are women's way of flirting. What she's doing when she's testing you is judging your response (consciously or not) to see if the two of you are on the same level. In many respects you can think of shit tests as a form of rapport break. For those familiar with AFC Adam's methodology this should be familiar. The problem is that most women have pretty bad game--you don't break rapport until you have some comfort and rapport to actually break--otherwise you're just going to come across as an asshole, which many women in fact do when they shit test too soon. When this happens just think in the back of your mind "aww, she's so cute she's trying to flirt, but just made herself look bad. Here, I'll respond in kind (rapport break for rapport break) and play along so she doesn't feel stupid or look bad in front of her friends". 

How do you handle Shit Tests? There are generally four methods for dealing with them:

• Ignore 
• Change the subject 
• Agree & Amplify (to absurdity) 
• Pressure-flip 

Ignoring is self-explainatory. If you're in person simply don't respond to her shit test. That could mean walking away, or invoking #2--changing the subject. 

Agree & Amplify is when you take her shit test, agree with it, and then take it to the upteenth level of ridiculousness. For example, if she asks if you're gay (which is actually a pretty huge social faux pas when you think about it) and respond with "oh yeah, totally, I suck dick morning noon and night. I'd so suck your dick if you had one!" and just keep going and making it over the top where you're basically making fun of her for saying something stupid or uncouth, to the point it's all just a big joke and she's laughing. That's when you've got her. You've taken her negativity and turned it positive. It's really a meta form of push-pull. 

Note: A more advanced version of this is repeated agree/disagree until she's becomes confused and it creates tension, and the back and forth emotional juggling gets a nice buying temperature spike. For example, if she asked if you're gay you'd respond "Oh yeah totally. Actually I'm not. No, I'm kidding a am (while shaking your head and mouthing "no I'm not"). 

A pressure-flip is when you answer so matter of factly, without emotion, and turn the spotlight around so it's on her, all in an abrupt manner. For example, if she asks what kind of car you drive: "Chevy, howaboutyou?" It's said so abruptly she likely won't be prepared to answer it. That catching her off guard and making her stumble is what you want. The main reason pressure-flips are good is because they demonstrate you're not phased by her bullshit and you can bring it and you're all on the same level. Tyler Durden of RSD does this all the time. His famous response is "what is it about xyz that turns you on?" or something similar. For example, if she says you look old. "What is it about older guys that turns you on so much?" (while holding eye contact) THAT is a powerful pressure-flip. Remember, the meta-level goal/point of pressure-flips are to build tension and then release it. That emotional juggling is push-pull in a nutshell. 

Relevant: 

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/ 

COTWA recommended viewing

This comes courtesy of Community of the Wrongly Accused
Source: TopCriminalJusticeDegrees.org

Newbie Guide: Qualification and Disqualification

I've come to the conclusion that Qualification is arguably the most meaningful aspect of Game for men from a Red Pill perspective. The phrase “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is getting popular for a reason, and learning what a woman is all about, if she is a good match for you, is crucial if you ever intend on having long term relationships with women that won’t drive you crazy, or take you to the cleaners. Even short term relationships, flings/one-night stands, can greatly benefit from qualifying women, if for no other reason than your own personal safety. Case in point:

One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm

Qualification is also key for developing a real relationship since it’s what drives investment levels. Through qualification you can drive up investment from women and also use it to determine her interest level in you. It’s also a very good way of showing you’re interested in her, and for more than just her looks. This goes a long way to deflecting the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) and Last Minute Resistance (LMR) down the road.

Men with standards have said standards because they're successful with women. In other words they have abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality that most men are faced with. The good news is that you can break free of this causal dynamic by demonstrating standards of your own, and by doing so can actually cause you to be perceived as a man of high status if for no other reason that being discriminating. In a way it’s almost a form of Reflective Preselection (see below). Another way of looking at it is that men that scrape and beg for sex--who lack abundance--cannot afford to qualify women. In other words, “beggars can’t be choosers”. Qualifying women flips this all around and makes you the prize!

Another positive aspect of qualifying women and having standards is that for a woman to be chosen by a man of high standards, it’s flattering to her own ego. The little girl in every woman wants to meet her Prince Charming and be swept off her feet. But more than that, knowing he chose HER, out of all the other women he had available to him, THAT’s powerful stuff. Qualification is best when it’s based on your own personal standards and goals, and the type of women you want to surround yourself with. This begins with establishing goals and setting standards and expectations regarding relationships and behaviors you will and will not tolerate. In short, there are 4 ways of qualifying women:

Qualifying statements

Small hoops

Medium hoops

Large hoops

Qualifying Statements are statements that frame someone in a positive light. For example, "I love how open-minded and free you are" or "I love how friendly you are". 

Small hoops are typically yes/no questions. 

Medium hoops are often follow-on questions to yes/no questions. For example, the small hoop may be "Do you cook?" If she answers yes then you could follow up with "What's your favorite thing to cook and why?" 

Large hoops are generally open-ended questions that ask for a lot of investment and tend to be deeply personal questions. For example, "how do you know you're in love?" or "what is your #1 sexual fantasy?" 

I usually start with qualifying statements to get the ball rolling and work from smaller hoops to medium and then larger hoops. If for some reason a woman won't jump through the medium or large hoop I've put in front of her then I'll shrink the hoop. If she complies partially I'll still give her props for complying, but still shrink the hoop or try qualifying her on something else. The point in this is that you never punish a woman for compliance, even if her answer didn't meet your standard or expectation. 

Managing objections/roadblocks – Disqualification

Disqualification is a powerful tool for mitigating problems during an interaction, such as disqualifying objections before they are made (creating comfort where a woman would be fearful of walking down a dark alley). Disqualification is also useful for breaking rapport (flirting) and can be used to framing others in a negative light. This is useful for getting others to want to fulfill expectations and getting them to qualify themselves to you. This is why qualification and disqualification used in tandem is so powerful.

A common roadblock men run into when meeting new people is the woman’s friends arriving in the middle of an interaction. A great way to prevent this from becoming an issue is by asking her who she’s there with. As people arrive you should then introduce yourself and explain you were just talking about them, followed by killing them with kindness. This works just as well for the alpha female of the group, which is the worst case scenario in my opinion, to defusing potential bad situations when a jealous boyfriend appears out of nowhere. Remember, there’s no reason you shouldn’t talk to everyone. Even if they’re not interested, they may have friends that are. You won’t be able to win over every woman, and that’s okay. When you can’t make a woman your girlfriend it’s time to start thinking of ways of making her into a girl…friend.

Note: An example of Reflective Preselection is taking women with you to a bar or club who aren't interested in you sexually. By having women with you, the women in the venue can be interested in you due to the preselection afforded you by the women you arrived with. Because the women in the venue get interested it can cause the women you arrived with to become interested as well. This phenomenon is a key component of social circle game.

Don't Be That Gal: LPS Edition

Red Pill readers may recognize this. 

For those who haven't seen it yet, I strongly recommend going through Girlwriteswhat's video series on Legal Paternal Surrender (LPS). Fantastic stuff as far as I'm concerned. FYI, the link in the image is to the first video in her LPS series.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Red Pill Primer

I happened upon a Reddit thread today asking readers to define certain terms that those in the Red Pill community should be familiar with. Overall I tend to agree with HumanSockPuppet's definitions as they closely align to my own take on things:

MGTOW consists of men who are abandoning the path prescribed to them by society and feminist agendas: the path that consists of training in their young lives, marrying in their late 20s, working and sacrificing throughout their lives for someone else's benefit, getting divorced, becoming estranged to their children, and eventually dying alone and with no real sense of what their lives were about. 

MRA consists of men who are actively battling institutionalized and subrosa sexism in our legal and cultural dialogues - sexism which accommodates a lot of the exploitation and abuse described above, and which MGTOW try to avoid. 

PUA consists of men who, either awakened or in the process of awakening, are learning how to get the sex they need without paying the price demanded to them by a media and culture that has women's interests mainly at heart. It's a community about learning the fundamental principles of what makes a man attractive to women, how to become that kind of man, and a methodical guideline of the various stages of attraction and seduction, culminating in sex. 

Personally, I think the three groups need to be communicating a lot more than they are.

Simple, direct, easy to remember. I think he nailed it. The only thing I would add is that PUAs are a subset of MGTOW since they're both groups of men who reject the social expectations to "man up" by doing what's best for women (the feminine imperative). Also, of the MGTOW who don't chase tail, those men are referred to as "going ghost", or "going Galt" in reference to Atlas Shrugged.

Overall all three camps fall under a larger umbrella of the Men's Movement, of which this blog is a part of. Additionally, all three camps can be thought of as being Red Pill savvy. Online many would refer to Red Pill related blogs as the "manosphere".

Lastly, I completely agree with his/her's last comment, that we should all be working together and communicating in a more productive manner. We're still a long way off until the misandry bubble bursts, and working at cross-purposes can really hamstring our progress.

Would You Take Dating Advice From This Woman?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMJS2k_vBY0

http://jezebel.com/5969902/dear-dudes-here-are-five-reasons-why-you-dont-need-a-dating-coach
(it really pains me to link Jezebel)

Quite frankly she's not an authority on what women respond to. If anything she just sounds butthurt because she doesn't get the attention other women do who she knows are better looking than she is. 

I sometimes wonder if feminism was really just a jealousy movement to have women that are good looking knocked down a peg to have to work & live life like non-attractive women do by way of removing their looks privilege. Demonizing male sexuality that values female physical attractiveness plays into this in a big way. 

Start looking at feminists. And I mean really look at them and ask yourself is she hot, was she hot when she was younger, and where do you think she sits on a looks scale? I've seen maybe 2 in my life that were actually really hot. A few were hot in their youth, but when their looks faded then suddenly they "saw the light". Funny they didn't need feminism when they were still young and sexy. Go figure.

Why Men Are Slackers And Women Are Single

Why Men Are Slackers And Women Are Single

Crap article, excellent comments. What people don't understand is that men going their own way and dropping out of the system is the equivalent of women getting out of the kitchen, burning bras, etc. It's the 21st century male equivalent of men breaking free of traditional gender roles.

Know Your Options

This post is directed squarely at men thinking about getting married. I strongly recommend reading the following site. It's a great primer on what you'll face with Marriage 2.0 given the current legal climate and the anti-male bias that's so prevalent in Family Courts.

http://dontmarry.wordpress.com

If you've read all that and you still think you'll want to get married some day, I STRONGLY recommend waiting until you're well into your 30s. Here's why: men in their 30s with a good job, and stays in shape, is pretty much the equivalent attractiveness to women as the big tittied 19 year old blond bombshell is to most guys.

Most people have no clue how the paradigm flip-flops as we age. The broad strokes are that guys get more attractive while women get less attractive. This is nature in action. Women are generally attracted to the hallmarks of a good provider and protector. In the modern world that translates to status and power, which typically goes up for men as they age. Meanwhile men are attracted to the hallmarks of fertility, which goes down as women age. By the mid 30s the whole attraction paradigm flips. Women hit the wall and guys suddenly find women hitting on them more than ever, especially the women their own age on up who are making a last ditch effort to find a quality guy while they still can.

Ask yourselves something and be honest: why settle for an aging 30something when you can just as easily get a good 20something who's in all likelihood going to be much better looking, have more energy, less baggage like kids and an ex or three, not to mention a far lower partner count? I think the real reason guys settle for shrews, abusive women, women with loads of baggage, and so on is because most guys just lack the game necessary to have options and better prospects. Follow my advice, Roissy/Heartiste, Rollo Tomassi, Dalrock, Adam Lyons, and Athol Kay, and I can guarantee you'll have a much better sex life, and a more enriching life overall as you steer clear of the crazies and drama-filled chicks that will just give you grief down the line.

Rating Women

Some people don't think rating women's looks is useful, but I still think it's got merit. I used to like the "would do, and brag; would do and keep quite; wouldn't do even if you paid me" method, but it doesn't really communicate the quality you regard the woman in terms of looks, presentation, character, or whatever. Instead of ranking girls on a scale of 1 to 10, I came up with this today because I needed something more granular to compare this one chick a few of us at work know to some celebrities a coworker named for reference. I put the girl at a 6.5 and my coworker put Mila Kunis at a 10, but to me she's an 8 or 8.5. He figured that meant that the girl we were talking about wasn't that far off from what he'd consider a 10, but in reality she way less attractive--in my book a 6 is a huge difference from an 8. On to the new system....

On a scale of 1-100 the girl I know was a 68 and Kunis is an 88 IMO. Imagine those like school grades with anything under a 60 "failing" (to be attractive at all).

Kunis = B+
Girl I know = D+

I think this is a much better way to articulate how we perceive one's qualities than a simple 1-10 rating.

90-100 = A
80-89 = B
70-79 = C
60-69 = D
1-59 = F

Also, if they're on the low end of a letter grade give them a minus (-) and if they're on the high end of a grade give them a plus (+).

Misconceptions Part 2

Humans have been reproducing from the beginning. Evolutionary psychology and biology shows us how various behaviors generate attraction. Game is teaching men those causal relationships and how to trigger them. One of my favorite descriptions of Game is "Applied sociobiology".

I personally liken Game to being a highly focused version of public speaking. Imagine you’re giving a speech in front of a crowded room. That anxiety you feel, that stage fright, that’s what men feel when they approach women they find attractive. Talking to women is reallyjust another version of public speaking. Fortunately it’s something you can get better at.

By learning how to be a better communicator with women through learning Game men can be more themselves. In fact Game merely lets a man’s true self shine through instead of being the nervous mess women usually see when they get approached by average guys. Through practice and repetition the guys get used to that feeling of anxiety and it allows men to be fun, at ease, and more natural. Why anyone would have a problem with that is beyond me, don’t you agree?

Furthermore, to put it bluntly, I see a lot of anti-Game rhetoric based purely on misconceptions and feminist shaming attempts levied at those who support and utilize Game. Game itself is amoral. How it is applied is what matters. Some men use it with the goal in mind of having sex with as many women as they can whereas others use it for that special snowflake they’ve have a crush on for 6 years. (most men who get into this stuff are of the latter variety--and by a wide margin) In either case, regardless of what you think of the practicioner’s goals, there are two major benefits that transcends getting laid or getting into a relationship:

1. Game gives men control over how they spend their energy interacting with women.

2. Game gives men the tools to qualify women.

Until now you either had “it” or you didn’t, and if you didn’t you were lost in the deep end of the pool doing your best to stay afloat hoping, praying that it’s an attractive lifeguard that pulls you out.

Game is a coin with two sides. On one side it’s the training wheels, the pickup stuff people see on TV or the internet or read in books that comes off as weird and gamey. On the other side are the more meaningful lasting aspects (IMO) that gets mens’ heads straight and allows them to take the pussy down from the pedestal and builds character, strength, confidence, and teaches men that there’s more to women than the sum of their T&A.

Competition Anxiety

One fear all women seem to have is that they might be traded in for a newer model or that if they split with their man he'll turn out better for it than they will. This is why showing her you can flirt, get attention from buxom nubile young things, etc is such a powerful thing for men. And if you have the willingness to walk it'll put them on best behavior. She'll hate you for having options, but she'll love you even more and for 3 reasons:

1. You're alpha and chicks would rather have part of an alpha than all of a beta (see also: Tiger Woods).

2. Prince Charming Theory. You have options and you chose her as the best of the best, so she's supremely validated by you picking her.

3. "Living well is the best revenge". Her knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that if she ever did leave you that she'd be easily replaced, and probably by a younger, hornier, better looking woman that it negates the smug satisfaction "he's a loser, he's nothing without me" blah blah blah that women would use to rationalize feeling better about a breakup. The realization it's no sweat off your ass and in fact she could be doing the man a huge favor, well, that's the nuclear bomb of psychological warfare on a woman's mind.

1 makes you in demand. 2 gives her validation and security. 3 gives her fear of loss and removes fear of loss from yourself (at least in her mind), so she'll be drawn to you because in her mind you have abundance and that goes back to the first point about being in demand. It also serves to keep her in check where most men fail.

How to argue with women

You cannot reason with someone that is by definition unreasonable. Attempting to do so is an exercise in futility.

Now if she's just emotional then try steering her to your point of view. Naturally you cannot argue with someone that is angry, but you can calm them down. I learned this when I was married and won close to 100% of the time using this technique I developed. I probably should patent it or something, but oh well.

I understand blah blah blah :mirror their reasoning why they're mad:. How would you feel if.... :state your perception you want her to join your side on.

Women feel before they think. This is why they're emotionally grounded and men are logically grounded. Just different ways we think and associate with others. Women emote, men fix. It's a cliche for a reason. What you need to do is get her to "feel" things from you logical perspective. The next step is to diffuse her anger/displeasure by acknowledging it and then reinforcing the solution by relating it back to her as those it was her idea and she's already accepted it as the "fit".

Example of doing it wrong:

Woman: I just can't stand my friend. She does xyz that makes me so angry. Blah blah blah.
Man: If she makes you so mad then why don't you talk to her about it?


Example of doing it right:

Woman: I just can't stand my friend. She does xyz that makes me so angry. Blah blah blah.
Man: I understand she makes you upset because she did that, but how would you feel if she made you mad doing something similar and instead of her talking to you about it she just ragged on you to all your friends. You wouldn't appreciate it would you?
Woman: No, probably not.
Man: It's okay to be angry and it's perfectly natural. But like you said you wouldn't feel very good if she did this to you and would want to talk it out instead.
Woman: Yeah, I know. I should call her.

Misconceptions

Many people look at social dynamics, pickup, or whatever you want to call it as textbook manipulation. The fact couldn't be farther from the truth for most practicioners. It's all about presenting yourself in a positive light, or putting your best foot forward as some would call it. It boils down to good old-fashioned self-improvement.

If your people skills are lacking, learning how to improve them is not manipulation no matter what the naysayers would have you believe. It's simply learning a new skill set and improving your social skills thereby enhancing your options. That's not manipulation, that's nature with a nudge.

For the ladies...

Here's my short short version of relationship management for the women out there. If you really want a simple outline to follow for keeping your man happy and not stray:

1. Stay sexy. Don't let yourself go because "you're comfortable". It's a copout and a weak excuse for laziness.
2. Get your knees dirty. If you're satisfying your man at home then he won't have any reason to stray in order to have his *needs* fulfilled. It's that simple. And following Step 1 ensures he'll want to keep having sex with you.
3. Stop acting like a man. Emasculating your man through things like trying to take charge, belittling him, etc are all big turnoffs for most guys. Sure, there are some who are into that dom-submis fetish thing, but most guys aren't. And do you know what's a sub-category of that type of behavior? Nagging. No guy I've ever met enjoyed it. If you want us to shut down and start looking elsewhere then by all means nag nag nag.

That's it ladies, that's all there is to it. If you follow those 3 simple steps you'll find relationship bliss. Men will bend over backwards to please you night and day if you do the above. And if you're one of the stereotypical women that sits at home all day watching TV, this definitely applies to you. Trust me when I say this, because your man is thinking these very same things, but he's afraid to say them. I'll take the flak so they don't have to. Follow the above and it'll save you a ton of money on the therapists (or worst case: lawyers). All you have to do is put down the bon-bons, turn off Oprah or Judge Judy, have sex regularly-as in about once a day, and get your jiggly butts in the gym.

The fact of the matter is a LOT of the guys out there that are thinking the same things to an extent, but are just afraid to say it. That's partly why so many relationships fail. People are so caught up in being PC they can't speak their mind. Couple that with our culture where males have been programmed to think their own wants and needs should come second to their woman's and you're going to have problems.

The only way relationships can go the distances is if both parties are satisfied. Once upon a time that was the case. Granted it was usually the women putting in the work to make that happen, but with the advent of feminism women have shirked off that traditional role and it's now every person for themselves.

Until we strike a balance, both genders are going to suffer in the long term relationship department. What's worse is how western culture only holds that woman should be the ones satisfied, even if it comes at the expense of the man's well being. It's like some warped and misguided form of gender reparations.

Don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion and you're more than welcome to support the kind of paradigm we're currently socialized with, but don't think for a second everyone else is going to go along with it. There are plenty of guys out there like myself who aren't going stand for it. The reason for this: I'm actually for equality and mutual satisfaction. And I have the statistics to back it up. In fact, I contend it's the status quo that's frakked up right now. And if anyone wants to debate me, first just take a look at those divorce rates.

Give this a listen to, particularly the advice given around the 17 minute mark:
http://www.myprops.org/content/Are-You-That-Guy/

UPDATE:
Even CNN is even getting in on the action. They have 9 steps to keeping a relationship going:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/25/h.keep.marriage.healthy/index.html

Notice points 1, 3, and 4. Sound familiar? They should. I just told you to do the same in a more succinct way.

Pedestals are bad, mmmkay

I've been answer the question lately why guys have a tendency to put women up on a pedestal. For those that don't know what that means, it's generally treating women like a delicate flower, a princess if you will, and involves lots and lots of supplication and generally wussy behavior that typically turns the woman off. 

Why men tend to do this is really simple. The short version of why guys do this is comes down to a few simple reasons:

A) Social programming. From the time we're little kids girls are given a free pass for lots of stuff because "girls are made from sugar and spice and all things nice", we're taught they're "the fairer sex", never hit a woman, open doors, pay for dates, blah blah blah.

B) We're wired to value looks so if a woman is attractive we assign value to them from the get-go. This tends to raise their value in respect to our own as males and by default the guys think they're lower value and automatically the woman is looked up to from a value perspective.

C) It's taboo to think women are just as horny as guys and have as much sex (really it's way more than guys), and that they can do no wrong sexually as all are sweet, innocent, virginal princesses.

All in all, treat women no differently than you'd treat your friends. They're human and just as cool as everyone else in your life. No better. No worse. Think of women from that perspective instead of looking up to them on the pedestal you place them and you'll find you have much better relationships because of it. 

Stop Living In Fear

After a thread I commented on over at RSD about amogging, I've come to realize that for a lot of guys in the community it really comes down to fear that's driving this ideal to live in your own reality. If you can't succeed in life and the world around you, make up a new one in your head! /sarcasm That's the gist of what I'm getting around community, and for me that's not a good thing. Delusional is a form of crazy, and for good reason. Don't get me wrong. I'll all for a healthy dose of reframing, but flatly ignoring reality serves no useful purpose unless you're so scared of reality that you need to live in your own. If that shakes people up because they've been swallowing this "live in your own reality" psychobabble then so be it.

I'm a pragmatic realist. I want results based on what is attainable for me and in the world in which I live. It's analogous to martial arts and how people think what they're fed in their McDojo is what it's like in the real world. These MA's often swallow their instructor's teachings as absolute truth, and don't really explore what's true for themselves. In the end they often find they can't fight their way out of a paper bag when the shit hits the fan, and I've seen this true of the pickup community as well. I find people get into a particular school of thought, dismiss all others as being incorrect (for whatever reason), and live in this little bubble of reframes, hero worship, and blind devotion. I started along that path and recognized the cult-like status some figures in the community evoke.

Again,it's similar to the mentality martial artists get into with "my art is better than your art". The truth is that it's all about the individual. I feel lucky coming from a JKD background as I've been able to apply my 14 years of training philosophy to my training in social dynamics. I've found what works for me, and sadly the approach I see many guys taking isn't the best course of action, especially when it leads to accepting a guru's advice simply because that person is looked up to. I suggest people get out, try things for themselves, and live their lives.

Bottom line: check yourself.

Do Women Approach Men?

I've written about this before on some of the community forums and figured I'd toss up this nugget of wisdom here as well.

To put it bluntly, women that approach men are more often that not LSE, UGs, and/or Cougars. The truly high value females don't approach men all that often. They don't need to. They have pick of the litter, know it, and just screen for the best of the bunch. High quality women get approached all the damn time, upwards of 10-15 times a day if they go out dressed to the 9s.


Women tell me it's a pretty simple process: They know they're hot, guys want them, and just filter out the losers from there. Furthermore, they know that if a guy doesn't approach them that it usually means he's not in the high quality crowd (read: AFC). It's a pretty economical process for them, so why upset the balance by going after guys? Yes, some women certainly do approach guys on a rare occasion (like if they're drunk), but that's not a normal behavior you'll see from high value women (approaching, not being drunk).

All in all women chasing guys is pretty damn rare in our society. What it all boils down to is that high quality women know they're the prize and behave as such. High quality women don't chase. This is why flipping the script is such a powerful thing and works so well on them.

And a note about cougars. I don't want to conflate cougars with the notties. Some older women are smoking hot HBs in their own right and are just confident and comfortable with themselves and buck the social norms by actively pursuing sex. I'm all for that. However, it doesn't change the fact that most of the women who actively pursue men are of the lesser value in the sense of what men rate women for--namely the ability to produce healthy and attractive offspring as indicated by youth, facial symmetry, hip to waist ratio, etc.

Prince Charming Theory

Women are raised from a young age to think relationships and their romantic life will be like a Disney cartoon. From the time they're little girls they expect Prince Charming will come along at some point and sweep them off their feet. Well, the world doesn't work that way. That being said, there's no reason you can't be a woman's Prince Charming. However, you must first understand that who he truly was isn't what most people would expect. The truth is actually something that goes against the grain of most Disneyesque ideals of romantic love and chivalry.

The Prince Charming Theory is a combination of essentially two factors:

Preselection - An evolutionary shortcut, or tool, humans developed to determine from afar if a person is high value. If others look upon someone favorably we are typically draw to them and/or wonder what makes them valuable. In females this wonder sparks preliminary attraction. The effect of preselection, like having women crawling all over you, makes it a hell of a lot easier to open up other women later on. In some cases women will begin to open you!

Perceived Value - This is when a high value male chooses a woman. The effect this has on women is at the heart of the Prince Charming Theory: When a high value male with lots of choice regarding sexual/relationship partners chooses a particular woman then she is perceived as the female with the most value of any of those he could choose from. This makes a woman feel special and has the benefit of making her value, cherish, and respect the relationship so much more than if she merely chose the man. This is intrinsically different from the traditional paradigm of women choosing men and is why women will often chase a man, or otherwise tolerate abuse or otherwise bad treatment, by men that seem disinterested or that have 3 other women on speed dial.

I don't generally agree with Disneyesque ideals of romance, or any relationship advice given by mainstream media as it's usually terrible and chock full of social programming. But when it comes to Prince Charming, he was the ultimate version of what men should strive to be if they want control over their relationships and want women to chase him. He was preselected, had options, and he chose the women he wished to interact with. Furthermore, those women who he chose felt special because he chose them. That's the secret sauce of Prince Charming Theory.

When you reach that point it's important to note that qualifying women is integral to keeping them. If not, they will have worthiness issues.

Nice Guys Part 3

Saw this posted on one of the community forums. It's a great example of why men with choice are attractive to women and ties in nicely with my Prince Charming Theory (coming soon).

***********************************************************************************

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?

Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way. What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.

The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/85967/dating-secret-exposed-why-nice-guys-finish-last

Nice Guys Part 2

Found this on the pickuppodcast.com forums:

This is a repost off the myspace dating forums.

This girl is a really cute 18 year old girl from dallas. Holy shit she is super honest and spot on. Guys, this will blow your minds if you haven't realized this already.

Not to mention that a year ago this wouldn't resonate so much with me......


Cute Girl says:

I like nice guys; that's not the problem. I just met you and you are telling me how much you want to date me and asking for my phone number and I am probably not ready. You just come on too strong and too fast. You come across as desperate by telling me how special and beautiful I am, you tell me you LOVE ME SOOO MUCH, that you will always treat me right, how I'm the one you have always been looking for, how good you will treat me, and all that rubbish.

I'd rather a guy try to get into my pants. If only you would just give me a little time and space, but NOOO you have to LOVE me. So I choose the good looking bad boys. You can slap their face and they just smile. At least with the bad boys, if and when I decide I'm not interested, they don't give a hoot. I'm not going to hurt them.

Like most girls, I’m a companionate person; I don’t wish to wish to hurt anyone. But if I decide I don’t want to date you anymore, you are going to be SOOO hurt. I can see it in your face, your expression, and body language. You try to get me back, you mope and complain, you point out all the things you have given me, and tell me how badly I’m treating you, or maybe even talk about suicide.

I don't want to deal with any of that crap, let alone most of it. If you give me the slightest indication you are going to be that way, that's it; I'm not having anything to do with. If you act like that, I don’t think you are a nice guys at all, I think you are a selfish clingy bastard posing as nice guys just to get me, the girl. You don’t care about me; if you did, you would be happy for me when I wanted to go because that would be what I wanted. But, no you are selfish and want me to stay and love you even though that is not what I want.

When you want to go bowling with one of your guy friends and he tells you he has a date and can’t go, you would like for him to go but you don’t get miffed or get your feelings hurt. It's hard for me to tell you what you don't want to hear when I know you are so enthused and you will be SOOO disappointed. If you would give me the same considerations you give your guy friends and not be offended and get your feeling hurt, I might go out with you.