Friday, October 24, 2008

Stop Living In Fear

After a thread I commented on over at RSD about amogging, I've come to realize that for a lot of guys in the community it really comes down to fear that's driving this ideal to live in your own reality. If you can't succeed in life and the world around you, make up a new one in your head! /sarcasm That's the gist of what I'm getting around community, and for me that's not a good thing. Delusional is a form of crazy, and for good reason. Don't get me wrong. I'll all for a healthy dose of reframing, but flatly ignoring reality serves no useful purpose unless you're so scared of reality that you need to live in your own. If that shakes people up because they've been swallowing this "live in your own reality" psychobabble then so be it.

I'm a pragmatic realist. I want results based on what is attainable for me and in the world in which I live. It's analogous to martial arts and how people think what they're fed in their McDojo is what it's like in the real world. These MA's often swallow their instructor's teachings as absolute truth, and don't really explore what's true for themselves. In the end they often find they can't fight their way out of a paper bag when the shit hits the fan, and I've seen this true of the pickup community as well. I find people get into a particular school of thought, dismiss all others as being incorrect (for whatever reason), and live in this little bubble of reframes, hero worship, and blind devotion. I started along that path and recognized the cult-like status some figures in the community evoke.

Again,it's similar to the mentality martial artists get into with "my art is better than your art". The truth is that it's all about the individual. I feel lucky coming from a JKD background as I've been able to apply my 14 years of training philosophy to my training in social dynamics. I've found what works for me, and sadly the approach I see many guys taking isn't the best course of action, especially when it leads to accepting a guru's advice simply because that person is looked up to. I suggest people get out, try things for themselves, and live their lives.

Bottom line: check yourself.

No comments: