Many people look at social dynamics, pickup, or whatever you want to call it as textbook manipulation. The fact couldn't be farther from the truth for most practicioners. It's all about presenting yourself in a positive light, or putting your best foot forward as some would call it. It boils down to good old-fashioned self-improvement.
If your people skills are lacking, learning how to improve them is not manipulation no matter what the naysayers would have you believe. It's simply learning a new skill set and improving your social skills thereby enhancing your options. That's not manipulation, that's nature with a nudge.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
1. A WING’S PRIMARY JOB IS TO GET HIS WING LAID
- Occupy the obstacle(s) first and foremost.
- If the wing can find a target, great. If not, that doesn't mean bail on the set, stay in and occupy the obstacle(s)!
- An obstacle might be a guy. Again, occupy the obstacles first and foremost. Obviously the wing doesn't have to # close or k-close, but keep the obstacle occupied!
2. WHOEVER OPENS THE SET OWNS THE SET. OTHER WINGS DO NOT TRY TO TAKE HIS SPOTLIGHT
3. NEVER AMOG OR DLV YOUR WING
- Once you and your wing have a rapport and understand each other a little busting will be normal, but keep it to a minimum when first interacting with a set, and none at all until you both have been winging a while.
4. WHEN YOUR WING ENTERS SET ALWAYS STOP YOUR CONVERSATION WITH GIRL AND ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WING, GIVE HIM VALUE WHILE BRINGING HIM INTO THE INTERACTION
- Exceptions are for when the wing who opened is “having a moment” with an HB. Wings should not even interrupt and instead should immediately occupy the obstacle(s).
5. SPEAK TO YOUR WING
- When telling a story, tell the story to your wing even if he's heard it a million times.
i. Both of you should act like it's familiar but fresh. Don't just tell the story to the set and ignore the wing.
ii. Likewise, do not put your wing into the story in ways that will make him look like an idiot.
6. DO NOT KINO YOUR WING’S TARGET
- When a wing enters, briefly kino your target when doing introductions. This signals him who my target is so he can occupy the other one. See #10
- The entering wing should never touch the wing’s target unless she instigates it, such as extending her hand for a handshake.
7. 50/50 INTERACTION BETWEEN YOUR WINGS AND TARGETS (AFTER YOUR WING ENTERS DO NOT ONLY BE TALKING TO TARGET). THIS IS CALLED BEING "NORMAL"
8. DHV YOUR WING
- At some point it is usually beneficial, especially in equal number sets of males & females, to switch targets.
i. When you switch off, your goal should be to build up your wing and brag about all his good qualities to his target. You can get away with a lot if it’s someone else that’s saying good things about you.
ii. Swap targets back and now you both have sky high value to your respective targets.
9. WHEN A WING DECIDES TO EJECT FROM THE SET, USUALLY ALL OTHER WINGS FOLLOW—UNLESS THEY ARE LOCKED IN/HAVE A CONNECTION WITH THEIR HB.
- Your wings are more important. Never pick a target over your wing if it’s still early and neither of you have progressed well with the set. Cut your losses and continue winging for group success.
i. Bros before hos
10. NEVER FORCE YOUR WING TO DO SOMETHING COUNTER TO HIS CALIBRATION OR COMFORT LEVEL (SEE ALSO #1)
- For example, never say 'hey tell her the one about that midget!'
- If he does a palm reading on his target, don't say “Hey, now do that girl's palm!”
- Everyone needs to run their own game as their calibration dictates, or else you're forcing your wing into dancing monkey mode or otherwise screwing his game up
11. ESCALATE AT A SIMILAR PACE
12. AVOID WING DEPENDENCY
- You can pull from different sets. If you opened and one girl is a go, never mind your wing. Game her up, try to pull, and let your wing settle into another set.
i. This assumes the obstacle was placated.
- If you blow a 2 set it's not because of your wing. It was your choice to use a wing as opposed to running the 2 set solo and trying for the 3some. Wings should not be used as a crutch or excuse.
13. STAY OUT OF IT
- It's ok to come in briefly to spike BT, but if all the girls in a set are being occupied (1, 2 or larger sets), stay the fuck away.
- If your wing has his girl isolated, there is no reason for you to be sitting there listening in. Especially if he's about to get a # or bounce.
- Likewise, if your 2 wings are running game on a 2 set, you have no place entering that set except to briefly spike BT, or to momentarily indicate logistics to wings
14. HAVE A SYSTEM
- Have a system to indicate your target to your wing
- Have a system for bringing wings into set
- Have a system for waving off wings from entering a set
- After a wing comes in, don't keep trying to hold court. Isolate/mini-isolate your target and let your wing game the rest of the set.
i. If you keep down the same entertainer thread, your wing winds up standing there like a chump.
- The Assumed
i. Wing: Hey [PUA1], what's up man! [High five each other and he brings me in with an accomplishment intro]
Wing: So how do you guys all know each other?
HBs: Oh, we just met him.
[Now this is the diabolical part]
Wing: Really? Wow. The way you all got along I thought you all were old friends. Seems like [PUA1] knows everyone in town. [BT Spike and accomplishment “intro” back for PUA1] He’s a very cool guy….he’s like the real life… Van Wilder….of [local area]. See that…now you’re all…officially part of…the cool crowd.
[They take it all in and the set fluffs for a moment]
Wing: So how do *you* guys know each other, how long have *you* guys been friends? [This is a double bind and decent hoop, but after giving them some value in the accomplishment intro for PUA1 they usually respond, jump through the hoop, and it hooks the set. Now you're off to the races and can look at isolating.]
1. Poof! Even if PUA1 that opened the set hasn't hooked yet, just all these fun assumptions and giving value cinches the set and causes it to hook.
a. It's seems weird, but it's always worked for us so long as the wing that opens has gotten to the name exchange. Too soon and it highlights that we’re all still strangers. That’s the risk with this style of winging.
- The Camille Update
i. Sometimes wings will keep gaming a set because they think they are helping out the other guy, but neither wing actually really wants to stay in that set. The following system can help communicate without blowing up the set, wrecking the room, or otherwise getting yourselves into trouble. Note: Select the girl’s name before entering the set.
ii. A way to bounce both you and your wing out of the set if things are going poorly is with: “Hey, want go look for Camille?” to which the wing may say:
1. “Not yet, let's wait a minute.” (meaning stay in set and let me game some more)
2. “Yeah, let's go look for her.” (meaning, yeah I'm done with this set too)
iii. If a wing is doing fine with his girl, but you notice your HB is married or otherwise not going to go over well, you may want to eject. Instead of saying “Hey dude. My girl is married so I'm bailing.” You stay and code him with, “I'm gonna go look for Camille. Her husband is looking for her. But you stay here...”
1. Notice the keyword of “husband”, which is the signal she’s married and is why he wants to bounce.
2. See also Rule #10
- Basic Structure For A Wing’s Entry
i. Signal for the wing to join or
ii. Wing come in when he sees the lead needs it
iii. So, why not a high five? This way
1. The lead goes in and opens
2. He starts building attraction
3. Either they're hooked, or he needs help, so he goes for a high five
4. Wing enters. ("So, who's the troublemaker?")
5. Target identified
6. Wing DHVs the lead to the target
7. Wing starts to distract obstacles
- Have you seen Sarah / Michelle?
i. Wing (PUA2) approaches his wing who has already opened and casually asks the following:
“Hey man have u seen Sarah/Michelle?”
ii. PUA 1 who opened the set has two choices:
1. “Yea man she was over there…”
2. “No man. Hey, meet these girls, they’re cool, but I’m not sure about her… (indicating his target)
3. If you say you saw her “over there”, it means you are not ready for the wing to enter. If he says “Meet these girls”, he needs you to wing him and should bring you into the set with an accomplishment intro of his own for you.