Shit Tests 101

Everyone in the manosphere has probably heard of shit tests by now, but I'm still surprised by how many guys aren't aware of this fundamental concept. So what exactly are shit tests (aka fitness tests)? Shit tests are things women do and/or say to test a man's congruence and actually serve a couple different purposes. Ultimately they are women's way of flirting. What she's doing when she's testing you is judging your response (consciously or not) to see if the two of you are on the same level. In many respects you can think of shit tests as a form of rapport break. For those familiar with AFC Adam's methodology this should be familiar. The problem is that most women have pretty bad game--you don't break rapport until you have some comfort and rapport to actually break--otherwise you're just going to come across as an asshole, which many women in fact do when they shit test too soon. When this happens just think in the back of your mind "aww, she's so cute she's trying to flirt, but just made herself look bad. Here, I'll respond in kind (rapport break for rapport break) and play along so she doesn't feel stupid or look bad in front of her friends". 

How do you handle Shit Tests? There are generally four methods for dealing with them:

• Ignore 
• Change the subject 
• Agree & Amplify (to absurdity) 
• Pressure-flip 

Ignoring is self-explainatory. If you're in person simply don't respond to her shit test. That could mean walking away, or invoking #2--changing the subject. 

Agree & Amplify is when you take her shit test, agree with it, and then take it to the upteenth level of ridiculousness. For example, if she asks if you're gay (which is actually a pretty huge social faux pas when you think about it) and respond with "oh yeah, totally, I suck dick morning noon and night. I'd so suck your dick if you had one!" and just keep going and making it over the top where you're basically making fun of her for saying something stupid or uncouth, to the point it's all just a big joke and she's laughing. That's when you've got her. You've taken her negativity and turned it positive. It's really a meta form of push-pull. 

Note: A more advanced version of this is repeated agree/disagree until she's becomes confused and it creates tension, and the back and forth emotional juggling gets a nice buying temperature spike. For example, if she asked if you're gay you'd respond "Oh yeah totally. Actually I'm not. No, I'm kidding a am (while shaking your head and mouthing "no I'm not"). 

A pressure-flip is when you answer so matter of factly, without emotion, and turn the spotlight around so it's on her, all in an abrupt manner. For example, if she asks what kind of car you drive: "Chevy, howaboutyou?" It's said so abruptly she likely won't be prepared to answer it. That catching her off guard and making her stumble is what you want. The main reason pressure-flips are good is because they demonstrate you're not phased by her bullshit and you can bring it and you're all on the same level. Tyler Durden of RSD does this all the time. His famous response is "what is it about xyz that turns you on?" or something similar. For example, if she says you look old. "What is it about older guys that turns you on so much?" (while holding eye contact) THAT is a powerful pressure-flip. Remember, the meta-level goal/point of pressure-flips are to build tension and then release it. That emotional juggling is push-pull in a nutshell. 

Relevant: 

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/ 

Newbie Guide: Qualification and Disqualification

I've come to the conclusion that Qualification is arguably the most meaningful aspect of Game for men from a Red Pill perspective. The phrase “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is getting popular for a reason, and learning what a woman is all about, if she is a good match for you, is crucial if you ever intend on having long term relationships with women that won’t drive you crazy, or take you to the cleaners. Even short term relationships, flings/one-night stands, can greatly benefit from qualifying women, if for no other reason than your own personal safety. Case in point:

One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm

Qualification is also key for developing a real relationship since it’s what drives investment levels. Through qualification you can drive up investment from women and also use it to determine her interest level in you. It’s also a very good way of showing you’re interested in her, and for more than just her looks. This goes a long way to deflecting the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) and Last Minute Resistance (LMR) down the road.

Men with standards have said standards because they're successful with women. In other words they have abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality that most men are faced with. The good news is that you can break free of this causal dynamic by demonstrating standards of your own, and by doing so can actually cause you to be perceived as a man of high status if for no other reason that being discriminating. In a way it’s almost a form of Reflective Preselection (see below). Another way of looking at it is that men that scrape and beg for sex--who lack abundance--cannot afford to qualify women. In other words, “beggars can’t be choosers”. Qualifying women flips this all around and makes you the prize!

Another positive aspect of qualifying women and having standards is that for a woman to be chosen by a man of high standards, it’s flattering to her own ego. The little girl in every woman wants to meet her Prince Charming and be swept off her feet. But more than that, knowing he chose HER, out of all the other women he had available to him, THAT’s powerful stuff. Qualification is best when it’s based on your own personal standards and goals, and the type of women you want to surround yourself with. This begins with establishing goals and setting standards and expectations regarding relationships and behaviors you will and will not tolerate. In short, there are 4 ways of qualifying women:

Qualifying statements

Small hoops

Medium hoops

Large hoops

Qualifying Statements are statements that frame someone in a positive light. For example, "I love how open-minded and free you are" or "I love how friendly you are". 

Small hoops are typically yes/no questions. 

Medium hoops are often follow-on questions to yes/no questions. For example, the small hoop may be "Do you cook?" If she answers yes then you could follow up with "What's your favorite thing to cook and why?" 

Large hoops are generally open-ended questions that ask for a lot of investment and tend to be deeply personal questions. For example, "how do you know you're in love?" or "what is your #1 sexual fantasy?" 

I usually start with qualifying statements to get the ball rolling and work from smaller hoops to medium and then larger hoops. If for some reason a woman won't jump through the medium or large hoop I've put in front of her then I'll shrink the hoop. If she complies partially I'll still give her props for complying, but still shrink the hoop or try qualifying her on something else. The point in this is that you never punish a woman for compliance, even if her answer didn't meet your standard or expectation. 

Managing objections/roadblocks – Disqualification

Disqualification is a powerful tool for mitigating problems during an interaction, such as disqualifying objections before they are made (creating comfort where a woman would be fearful of walking down a dark alley). Disqualification is also useful for breaking rapport (flirting) and can be used to framing others in a negative light. This is useful for getting others to want to fulfill expectations and getting them to qualify themselves to you. This is why qualification and disqualification used in tandem is so powerful.

A common roadblock men run into when meeting new people is the woman’s friends arriving in the middle of an interaction. A great way to prevent this from becoming an issue is by asking her who she’s there with. As people arrive you should then introduce yourself and explain you were just talking about them, followed by killing them with kindness. This works just as well for the alpha female of the group, which is the worst case scenario in my opinion, to defusing potential bad situations when a jealous boyfriend appears out of nowhere. Remember, there’s no reason you shouldn’t talk to everyone. Even if they’re not interested, they may have friends that are. You won’t be able to win over every woman, and that’s okay. When you can’t make a woman your girlfriend it’s time to start thinking of ways of making her into a girl…friend.

Note: An example of Reflective Preselection is taking women with you to a bar or club who aren't interested in you sexually. By having women with you, the women in the venue can be interested in you due to the preselection afforded you by the women you arrived with. Because the women in the venue get interested it can cause the women you arrived with to become interested as well. This phenomenon is a key component of social circle game.

Newbie Guide: IOIs and IODs

This is the first entry of my Newbie Guide series where I'll be brain-dumping some foundation level knowledge for guys who've just started learning Game.

Indicators of Interest and Disinterest 

When women are interested or disinterested in a guy they’ll give signs to watch for called Indicators of Interest (IOI) and Indicators of Disinterest (IOD). There are verbal and non-verbal IOIs and IODs and may be active or passive. The entire reason to look for these is to understand how intersted or disinterested a woman may be in you. Note: if you see a Gatling gun of IOIs (IOIs in quick succession) it's best to move things forward with a quickness! Don't worry, I'll be posing an article on how to properly kino escalate in no time.


Active IOI Examples 

She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking (So….)
She giggles and/or laughs at your jokes, even if they’re not funny
She touches you
She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
She smiles at you
While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
She uses a functional opener on you or in any way initiates a conversation
She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
She asks for personal details about you (name, age, job)
She compliments you
She is playful and tries to challenge you
She's punching your arm but laughing
She plays with her hair while talking to you
She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
She introduces you to friends She buys you a drink
She calls you a player or a heart-breaker
On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her #)
On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her)
She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have Isolation with you
She pushes up her breasts (sexual escalation)


Passive IOI Examples 

She stands nearby (proximity)
Her friends leave and she stays
She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods
If you move she follows you or waits for you
She doesn't flinch or pull back if you get close
When your bodies touch in some way she doesn’t break the contact
She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut)

The most important IOIs to look for are:
She giggles
She touches you
She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking

A special kind of IOI is an Approach Invitation, which is simply a cue to approach. The most typical approach invitation is a smile with some coy looking away followed by more smiling. However, there are other more subtle Approach Invitations women may give you.


Typical IODs 

Distance
Closed body language (crossed arms)
Not facing you
Lack of interest in a topic; not investing
Walking away
Telling you to leave

Note: When receiving IODs it’s important to mirror her body language and give an equal or slightly less amount of investment yourself so to avoid appearing needy. Do this until she begins to engage in the interaction.


Conclusion

As a general rule of thumb when you're just starting out, try to remember that when you get IODs the game isn't over until one of the following occurs:

1. They leave
2. They tell you to go away

As your social acuity improves you'll start to recognize the signs when they're not interested and are ignoring you vs just bsing with their friends and generally being social with the group you are now a part of. For the time being though, stay in there until they leave or tell you to go away. Risk creepy and really push your boundaries. It's honestly the best way to learn where the real lines of what's socially acceptable actually reside.

Texting Revisited

Texting is by far the #1 form of communication these days. On average women speak about 20,000 words a day and men only speak about 7,000 words a day. The same holds true with texting, maybe not those exact numbers, but I can assure you that women text way more than the average guy does. Because they text so much they're typically much more refined and knowing, hence the need to put this info out there.

The biggest rule of thumb I see guys break is not matching her investment level. Here's two ways to fix this common issue:

1. Wait roughly the same amount of time to text her back as it took her to text you
2. Keep your messages about the same length as the text she sends to you

If she’s taking days to get back to you, and with very short or one-word replies, then you messed up during the interaction and her interest level is very low. Sprucing up your interactions and driving up their investment level before you part ways will fix this.

Before you even get her number during the interaction I STRONGLY recommend coming up with a nickname of some sort, or in some way link the two of you together. Mnemonics are also good for this purpose. The main reason you do this is to avoid the classic “who is this?” response. You want her to remember you, and more importantly, remember that the two of you had fun and hit it off.

Keep in mind that a lot is lost when you text, so it shouldn't last long. After your 3rd or 4th text of fluff you should be establishing a date. From that point forward texting is just to set up logistics for the most part. Don't worry though if it takes 8-10 texts to get to this stage at first. You just don't want to become a text-buddy with lots of texting all the time and no real investment of having to meet up at some point. It's basically a digital friend-zone/pen-pal. Also, if you're texting back and forth, to help prevent this digital friend-zone you should just call. If she's texting you right back then she's got her phone in her hand and will probably answer.

I recommend developing a texting structure that works for you, but remember that people tend to respond in reverse order when communicating digitally. This is equally as important for email, IM, texting, and so on. This is why I recommend leaving them on a high note with something funny or quirky to keep their interest piqued. Doing this gives them something to latch on to, so to speak, to get the ball rolling with them replying to you.


Handling Flakes

We all have had it, so here's a couple ways to avoid it from happening:

Text her around 11am the day you're supposed to go out. Tell her you've got some errands to run after work and may be 15 minutes late and ask her if that's okay. If she's not really interested in going out with you, she'll latch onto this opportunity to back out of the date. While it sucks she may back out, the upside is your time isn't wasted that night.

Another method for avoiding flakes is to go out and do your normal thing and have her come out to meet you. Tell her to text you when she's on her way to the meeting point. This is great because if she flakes it doesn't matter because you're already out doing your thing, so it's no sweat off your ass and your time isn't wasted.

h/t Adam Lyons

Relevant:

http://pickuppodcast.com/2010/07/21/episode-115-the-txt-game-episode/

Negs, glorious negs...

I'd like to address all the negativity towards negs, which is the #1 complaint I've seen over the years about the seduction community. What I've noticed is that most people who are complaining have an idea in their head about what Negs are, but it's far from the reality as they haven't examined the theory behind them, nor do they understand their intended usage. In fact I'd wager most critics have never actually listened to Mystery's take on the damn things (he's the guy who came up with the term). Here he is giving some examples of negs.
Mystery explains Negs
Notice all they are are witty playful busting. The reason he does this is to show he's game, that the two of them are on the same level. Hot women usually have guys being very weak and supplicating. He does the opposite and challenges them, sometimes brashly.
Here's a bit Neg Theory right out of the Mystery Method book:

NEG: Verb, noun: a statment or action made to briefly and without insult disqualify oneself from being perceived as a potential suitor.
Usage: to neg someone, to be negged, to throw negs, to master negging.
A neg is not an insult but a negative social value judgement that is telegraphed. It's the same as if you pulled out a tissue and blew your nose. There's nothing insulting about blowing your nose. You haven't explicitly rejected her. But at the same time , she will feel that you aren't even trying to impress her. This makes her curious as to why and makes you a challenge. (emphasis mine)

Rating Women

Some people don't think rating women's looks is useful, but I still think it's got merit. I used to like the "would do, and brag; would do and keep quite; wouldn't do even if you paid me" method, but it doesn't really communicate the quality you regard the woman in terms of looks, presentation, character, or whatever. Instead of ranking girls on a scale of 1 to 10, I came up with this today because I needed something more granular to compare this one chick a few of us at work know to some celebrities a coworker named for reference. I put the girl at a 6.5 and my coworker put Mila Kunis at a 10, but to me she's an 8 or 8.5. He figured that meant that the girl we were talking about wasn't that far off from what he'd consider a 10, but in reality she way less attractive--in my book a 6 is a huge difference from an 8. On to the new system....

On a scale of 1-100 the girl I know was a 68 and Kunis is an 88 IMO. Imagine those like school grades with anything under a 60 "failing" (to be attractive at all).

Kunis = B+
Girl I know = D+

I think this is a much better way to articulate how we perceive one's qualities than a simple 1-10 rating.

90-100 = A
80-89 = B
70-79 = C
60-69 = D
1-59 = F

Also, if they're on the low end of a letter grade give them a minus (-) and if they're on the high end of a grade give them a plus (+).

Quick tips for getting started

I was asked today for some basic tips on how to get going in the community. Here's my short list of the best ways to get good without all the crap most guys get inundated with when starting out:

1. Stop reading, stop watching videos, and get out there and start approaching. 30 minutes a day is all it really takes, plus a few hours at a bar or club once a week. This translates to about 5-10 approaches a day, depending on how long you can keep things going with each woman you talk to. Only look stuff up online or read "PUA" forums when you get stuck or are having a problem diagnosing a sticking point.

2. Turn off your brain's verbal fliter and blurt out whatever it was you wanted to say, but are usually to self-conscious to say. Most of the stuff guys think, but don't say is great stuff and would be great cocky funny--and that's a good thing. Granted you'll still need to make sure the stuff you're saying is situationally acceptable. You can't just blurt out "Tits what?" in the middle of church, but if you're at a bar and mishear someone and it sounded like they said something about tits then go for it.

3. Push your boundaries. This kinda relates to the point above. Look at what you think your boundaries are, then take a giant step over that line. Guess what, you're still not even close. Take one more giant step past that line and you're starting to get close to where true boundaries reside. The point I'm trying to make is that you can usually get away with a lot more than most guys realize, and being bold, dominant, and aggressive is hugely attractive to women. They're far more likely to forgive a guy that moves too fast than a guy who doesn't make a move at all. In the former you might hear "whoa, slow down tiger!" and later on she'll be ready for that kind of stuff. In the latter case he gets the buddy hug at the end of the date, she tells her friend "He's nice, but there's no spark", and she calls up the first guy for a booty call.

In other words take risks. When you're learning YOU WANT TO GET BLOWN OUT!!!! That's the only way to really find out where the line is at. Once you've been going overboard like that then slowly ratchet things back. You'll become calibrated so much faster this way than slowly trying to push your boundaries inch by inch.

4. This point is going to reinforce #3.....YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. If you don't go for it now then the chance is probably lost forever. Also, YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN! Who cares if you blow it and she doesn't give you her number. There's more where she came from. Don't be a pussy, have some balls and just go for it!

Misconceptions Part 2

Humans have been reproducing from the beginning. Evolutionary psychology and biology shows us how various behaviors generate attraction. Game is teaching men those causal relationships and how to trigger them. One of my favorite descriptions of Game is "Applied sociobiology".

I personally liken Game to being a highly focused version of public speaking. Imagine you’re giving a speech in front of a crowded room. That anxiety you feel, that stage fright, that’s what men feel when they approach women they find attractive. Talking to women is reallyjust another version of public speaking. Fortunately it’s something you can get better at.

By learning how to be a better communicator with women through learning Game men can be more themselves. In fact Game merely lets a man’s true self shine through instead of being the nervous mess women usually see when they get approached by average guys. Through practice and repetition the guys get used to that feeling of anxiety and it allows men to be fun, at ease, and more natural. Why anyone would have a problem with that is beyond me, don’t you agree?

Furthermore, to put it bluntly, I see a lot of anti-Game rhetoric based purely on misconceptions and feminist shaming attempts levied at those who support and utilize Game. Game itself is amoral. How it is applied is what matters. Some men use it with the goal in mind of having sex with as many women as they can whereas others use it for that special snowflake they’ve have a crush on for 6 years. (most men who get into this stuff are of the latter variety--and by a wide margin) In either case, regardless of what you think of the practicioner’s goals, there are two major benefits that transcends getting laid or getting into a relationship:

1. Game gives men control over how they spend their energy interacting with women.

2. Game gives men the tools to qualify women.

Until now you either had “it” or you didn’t, and if you didn’t you were lost in the deep end of the pool doing your best to stay afloat hoping, praying that it’s an attractive lifeguard that pulls you out.

Game is a coin with two sides. On one side it’s the training wheels, the pickup stuff people see on TV or the internet or read in books that comes off as weird and gamey. On the other side are the more meaningful lasting aspects (IMO) that gets mens’ heads straight and allows them to take the pussy down from the pedestal and builds character, strength, confidence, and teaches men that there’s more to women than the sum of their T&A.

Flake Avoidance

First things first, are you seeding a reason to see them again later, or are you just leaving it handing with something like "lets hang out sometime"? One of the most common reasons women flake is because things are too fleeting. If you're talking, things are going well, etc., then don't leave. Ride things out as long as possible unless you feel yourself wearing out your welcome. The longer your conversation, the better your chances of getting her invested into you. Investment is what builds attraction and will cause them to want to see you again. Here's a few simple steps to make that happen that should do so in a way that cuts down your flake rate:

A) Always seed a date down the road. Do NOT leave it hanging with something non-specific.

B) Don't get her contact info right away if you can help it. Let it simmer after mentioning doing something.

C) When you close, do NOT ask for the number. Say some variation of "What's a good way of keeping in touch?" If she gives you her number, then great. If she gives you an email then take that as a sign you have more work to do. If she gives you her Facebook info then it's actually a good thing. Treat it like text game and work your way up from there.

D) When setting up the date down the road (which you seeded earlier in the interaction), ask when she's free in the next couple weeks. This will filter out the ones who will say they're too busy since women rarely know what they're doing every night for the next 2 weeks straight. If she really wants to go out with you she'll give up at least one night (or more) that she's available.

Around 10am the morning of the day you're supposed to meet send her the following:

"Hey, I've got a quick errand to run after work and will be 5-10 minutes late tonight. Is that cool?"

If she's sketchy and going to flake then she'll likely latch onto this to excuse herself from the date. This will significantly cut down on time you waste getting stood up.

h/t Adam Lyons

Competition Anxiety

One fear all women seem to have is that they might be traded in for a newer model or that if they split with their man he'll turn out better for it than they will. This is why showing her you can flirt, get attention from buxom nubile young things, etc is such a powerful thing for men. And if you have the willingness to walk it'll put them on best behavior. She'll hate you for having options, but she'll love you even more and for 3 reasons:

1. You're alpha and chicks would rather have part of an alpha than all of a beta (see also: Tiger Woods).

2. Prince Charming Theory. You have options and you chose her as the best of the best, so she's supremely validated by you picking her.

3. "Living well is the best revenge". Her knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that if she ever did leave you that she'd be easily replaced, and probably by a younger, hornier, better looking woman that it negates the smug satisfaction "he's a loser, he's nothing without me" blah blah blah that women would use to rationalize feeling better about a breakup. The realization it's no sweat off your ass and in fact she could be doing the man a huge favor, well, that's the nuclear bomb of psychological warfare on a woman's mind.

1 makes you in demand. 2 gives her validation and security. 3 gives her fear of loss and removes fear of loss from yourself (at least in her mind), so she'll be drawn to you because in her mind you have abundance and that goes back to the first point about being in demand. It also serves to keep her in check where most men fail.

How to argue with women

You cannot reason with someone that is by definition unreasonable. Attempting to do so is an exercise in futility.

Now if she's just emotional then try steering her to your point of view. Naturally you cannot argue with someone that is angry, but you can calm them down. I learned this when I was married and won close to 100% of the time using this technique I developed. I probably should patent it or something, but oh well.

I understand blah blah blah :mirror their reasoning why they're mad:. How would you feel if.... :state your perception you want her to join your side on.

Women feel before they think. This is why they're emotionally grounded and men are logically grounded. Just different ways we think and associate with others. Women emote, men fix. It's a cliche for a reason. What you need to do is get her to "feel" things from you logical perspective. The next step is to diffuse her anger/displeasure by acknowledging it and then reinforcing the solution by relating it back to her as those it was her idea and she's already accepted it as the "fit".

Example of doing it wrong:

Woman: I just can't stand my friend. She does xyz that makes me so angry. Blah blah blah.
Man: If she makes you so mad then why don't you talk to her about it?


Example of doing it right:

Woman: I just can't stand my friend. She does xyz that makes me so angry. Blah blah blah.
Man: I understand she makes you upset because she did that, but how would you feel if she made you mad doing something similar and instead of her talking to you about it she just ragged on you to all your friends. You wouldn't appreciate it would you?
Woman: No, probably not.
Man: It's okay to be angry and it's perfectly natural. But like you said you wouldn't feel very good if she did this to you and would want to talk it out instead.
Woman: Yeah, I know. I should call her.

Club Dancing

This was posted today by one of the guys in my local lair. Personally I wish I'd seen these years ago as I really suck and dancing to the point of being self conscious about it. If you've ever seen me dancing then you know I was pretty drunk that night because that's about the only way I'll get out on the dance floor. On to the videos...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWOLVuQzCOs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHGgvoSYTgs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilvcOHRbX1k&

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87kZJu9FJOw&

Preempting Flakes

I learned this trick this week from Phoenix of Enlightenment Dating. And it's not just for dating either. If you have friends that are regularly late or flake just tell them to text or call when they're on their way. That's when you know to actually get going. If they don't call then do something else. If they later show up and complain you're not there then remind them they were supposed to call/text. In a dating sense, if you're not sure she's going to flake or not just do the above. If you don't hear back from her then you know she's flaking. It beats going to a restaurant or something and watching the candle burn down wondering when/if they're going to show up.

Furthermore, something else I stumbled upon a while back when setting up a date/day2 is to give the person just enough info about when or what you've got in mind. The trick is to sell the event while leaving out enough information so that you have a reason to call the day of to finalize the details. This serves two purposes. A) it gives you a feel for if they'll flake based on their tonality and excitement level and B) leaving details out gives them less info to base their decisions on when weighing their options. There is less chance of them choosing something else over your plans if they don't know what your plans exactly are.

Dance floor is a trap because...

The dance floor is a trap. It's a well known community axiom and for good reason. Girls sucker guys into gawking and grinding on them for validation and almost nobody gets laid from that. If you are an excellent dancer you can get some play from that, but for most guys it's just a big mistake. That being said, where dancing is clutch is once you've already met, THAT'S when you pull her to the dance floor for some down and dirty escalation. Trying to "get up on" some chick is full of fail as it leads nowhere. Some guys get makeouts from it, but it's fleeting and they almost never lead to anything else besides a quick spike of good feelings for the girl and, you guessed it, ego validation and for them it's mission accomplished.

This is why girls often say dancing "feels good". No, dancing is just dancing. They can do that in their living room. What feels good is all the attention they get from guys ogling them, and in a lot of cases the power they feel from getting to shoot down guys that approach. If dancing was such a wonderful experience they'd skip the club, drink way cheaper booze at home, and dance to the music of THEIR choosing at a place they're comfortable with, and in their pajamas.

In short, the dance floor is an ego trip in a bottle. Just stand back and watch what happens to the guys that do nothing but try to grind on girls and think that's "good game". It's pathetic how used they get and they don't even realize it.

Now here's the positive side. Dancing is a great BT spike for girls you pull onto the floor and you can quickly escalate. Yes, you can go up to compete strangers that are already dancing and get the pull, but it's actually quite difficult and rare. Plus you still need to run solid game to leave the venue with them. My preference is to meet women off the dance floor, get to know them a bit, and then dance. Just seems to work out a lot better that way and you don't waste as much time with random bar makeouts that lead nowhere.

Misconceptions

Many people look at social dynamics, pickup, or whatever you want to call it as textbook manipulation. The fact couldn't be farther from the truth for most practicioners. It's all about presenting yourself in a positive light, or putting your best foot forward as some would call it. It boils down to good old-fashioned self-improvement.

If your people skills are lacking, learning how to improve them is not manipulation no matter what the naysayers would have you believe. It's simply learning a new skill set and improving your social skills thereby enhancing your options. That's not manipulation, that's nature with a nudge.

Rules of Winging

1. A WING’S PRIMARY JOB IS TO GET HIS WING LAID

1. Occupy the obstacle(s) first and foremost.

2. If the wing can find a target, great. If not, that doesn't mean bail on the set, stay in and occupy the obstacle(s)!

3. An obstacle might be a guy. Again, occupy the obstacles first and foremost. Obviously the wing doesn't have to # close or k-close, but keep the obstacle occupied!

2. WHOEVER OPENS THE SET OWNS THE SET. OTHER WINGS DO NOT TRY TO TAKE HIS SPOTLIGHT

3. NEVER AMOG OR DLV YOUR WING

1. Once you and your wing have a rapport and understand each other a little busting will be normal, but keep it to a minimum when first interacting with a set, and none at all until you both have been winging a while.

4. WHEN YOUR WING ENTERS SET ALWAYS STOP YOUR CONVERSATION WITH GIRL AND ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WING, GIVE HIM VALUE WHILE BRINGING HIM INTO THE INTERACTION

1. Exceptions are for when the wing who opened is “having a moment” with an HB. Wings should not even interrupt and instead should immediately occupy the obstacle(s).

5. SPEAK TO YOUR WING

1. When telling a story, tell the story to your wing even if he's heard it a million times.

i. Both of you should act like it's familiar but fresh. Don't just tell the story to the set and ignore the wing.

ii. Likewise, do not put your wing into the story in ways that will make him look like an idiot.

6. DO NOT KINO YOUR WING’S TARGET

1. When a wing enters, briefly kino your target when doing introductions. This signals him who my target is so he can occupy the other one. See #10

2. The entering wing should never touch the wing’s target unless she instigates it, such as extending her hand for a handshake.

7. 50/50 INTERACTION BETWEEN YOUR WINGS AND TARGETS (AFTER YOUR WING ENTERS DO NOT ONLY BE TALKING TO TARGET). THIS IS CALLED BEING "NORMAL"

8. DHV YOUR WING

1. At some point it is usually beneficial, especially in equal number sets of males & females, to switch targets.

i. When you switch off, your goal should be to build up your wing and brag about all his good qualities to his target. You can get away with a lot if it’s someone else that’s saying good things about you.

ii. Swap targets back and now you both have sky high value to your respective targets.

9. WHEN A WING DECIDES TO EJECT FROM THE SET, USUALLY ALL OTHER WINGS FOLLOW—UNLESS THEY ARE LOCKED IN/HAVE A CONNECTION WITH THEIR HB.

1. Your wings are more important. Never pick a target over your wing if it’s still early and neither of you have progressed well with the set. Cut your losses and continue winging for group success.

i. Bros before hos

10. NEVER FORCE YOUR WING TO DO SOMETHING COUNTER TO HIS CALIBRATION OR COMFORT LEVEL (SEE ALSO #1)

1. For example, never say 'hey tell her the one about that midget!'
2. If he does a palm reading on his target, don't say “Hey, now do that girl's palm!”
3. Everyone needs to run their own game as their calibration dictates, or else you're forcing your wing into dancing monkey mode or otherwise screwing his game up

11. ESCALATE AT A SIMILAR PACE

12. AVOID WING DEPENDENCY

1. You can pull from different sets. If you opened and one girl is a go, never mind your wing. Game her up, try to pull, and let your wing settle into another set.

i. This assumes the obstacle was placated.

2. If you blow a 2 set it's not because of your wing. It was your choice to use a wing as opposed to running the 2 set solo and trying for the 3some. Wings should not be used as a crutch or excuse.

13. STAY OUT OF IT

1. It's ok to come in briefly to spike BT, but if all the girls in a set are being occupied (1, 2 or larger sets), stay the fuck away.

2. If your wing has his girl isolated, there is no reason for you to be sitting there listening in. Especially if he's about to get a # or bounce.

3. Likewise, if your 2 wings are running game on a 2 set, you have no place entering that set except to briefly spike BT, or to momentarily indicate logistics to wings

14. HAVE A SYSTEM

1. Have a system to indicate your target to your wing

2. Have a system for bringing wings into set

3. Have a system for waving off wings from entering a set

15. ISOLATE!!!

1. After a wing comes in, don't keep trying to hold court. Isolate/mini-isolate your target and let your wing game the rest of the set.

i. If you keep down the same entertainer thread, your wing winds up standing there like a chump.

16. EXAMPLES

1. The Assumed Social Circle

i. Wing: Hey [PUA1], what's up man! [High five each other and he brings me in with an accomplishment intro]

Wing: So how do you guys all know each other?

HBs: Oh, we just met him.

[Now this is the diabolical part]

Wing: Really? Wow. The way you all got along I thought you all were old friends. Seems like [PUA1] knows everyone in town. [BT Spike and accomplishment “intro” back for PUA1] He’s a very cool guy….he’s like the real life… Van Wilder….of [local area]. See that…now you’re all…officially part of…the cool crowd.

[They take it all in and the set fluffs for a moment]

Wing: So how do *you* guys know each other, how long have *you* guys been friends? [This is a double bind and decent hoop, but after giving them some value in the accomplishment intro for PUA1 they usually respond, jump through the hoop, and it hooks the set. Now you're off to the races and can look at isolating.]

1. Poof! Even if PUA1 that opened the set hasn't hooked yet, just all these fun assumptions and giving value cinches the set and causes it to hook.

a. It's seems weird, but it's always worked for us so long as the wing that opens has gotten to the name exchange. Too soon and it highlights that we’re all still strangers. That’s the risk with this style of winging.

2. The Camille Update

i. Sometimes wings will keep gaming a set because they think they are helping out the other guy, but neither wing actually really wants to stay in that set. The following system can help communicate without blowing up the set, wrecking the room, or otherwise getting yourselves into trouble. Note: Select the girl’s name before entering the set.

ii. A way to bounce both you and your wing out of the set if things are going poorly is with: “Hey, want go look for Camille?” to which the wing may say:

1. “Not yet, let's wait a minute.” (meaning stay in set and let me game some more)

2. “Yeah, let's go look for her.” (meaning, yeah I'm done with this set too)

iii. If a wing is doing fine with his girl, but you notice your HB is married or otherwise not going to go over well, you may want to eject. Instead of saying “Hey dude. My girl is married so I'm bailing.” You stay and code him with, “I'm gonna go look for Camille. Her husband is looking for her. But you stay here...”

1. Notice the keyword of “husband”, which is the signal she’s married and is why he wants to bounce.

2. See also Rule #10

3. Basic Structure For A Wing’s Entry

i. Signal for the wing to join or

ii. Wing come in when he sees the lead needs it

iii. So, why not a high five? This way

1. The lead goes in and opens

2. He starts building attraction

3. Either they're hooked, or he needs help, so he goes for a high five

4. Wing enters. ("So, who's the troublemaker?")

5. Target identified

6. Wing DHVs the lead to the target

7. Wing starts to distract obstacles

4. Have you seen Sarah / Michelle?

i. Wing (PUA2) approaches his wing who has already opened and casually asks the following:

“Hey man have u seen Sarah/Michelle?”

ii. PUA 1 who opened the set has two choices:

1. “Yea man she was over there…”

2. “No man. Hey, meet these girls, they’re cool, but I’m not sure about her… (indicating his target)

3. If you say you saw her “over there”, it means you are not ready for the wing to enter. If he says “Meet these girls”, he needs you to wing him and should bring you into the set with an accomplishment intro of his own for you.

When PUAs Annoy

Here is a very simple method for getting rid of guys that try hitting on your girlfriend, wife, or date when you're with them:

"Hey man, where's your girlfriend tonight?"
Or
"Hey man, I bet your girlfriend is a total hottie, right?"

He has two choices:

A) He's a loser and doesn't have one
B) He says he's got a gf

If A... To your girl, "Oh, oh! We should set him up with one of your friends!" To the guy, "Here, give me your number and I'll give you a call sometime. We can double date! ... Cool. It was nice meeting you." (take the girl by the hand and walk away)

If B... "Ha! Check this guy out. He's a pimp. He's got his gf at home while he's out here spitting game. Play on playa!" (take the girl by the hand and walk away)

Text Game

I've been really going nuts with text game lately putting a lot of effort into getting it down. Here are my rules thumb I've developed thus far:

Ground Rules:

Keep it light, fun, & flirty

Slowly go sexual

Seed the D2

Don't drag text convos on for too long.

Don't expect a reply. Send it out and go about your daily activities.

Always be the one to end it, having her text last.

My current SOP:

1) Be memorable
Do something ballsy on the spot when getting the number. Shortly after I get a number I'll text her something cocky funny such as "OMG! Who is that sexy guy you're talking to?! Quick, get his number before he leaves!"


2) Reopen
When following up in a day or 2 I first send a quick fun non-sequitor to get a fun & flirty vibe established. Here are some examples of what I'm talking about:

• I think I'm pregnant.
• I'm out hunting dinosaurs. What are you doing?
• KABOOM! POW!
• The canary is back in the cage. We're meeting Red at six.
• Did you do that that thing at the place? I'm still waiting for the gift.
• Pull out. Eagle 2 is back.
• Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking sexy ass people! You will be safe, I'm just texting to say goodbye.
• Why'd you have to give your mom my phone number…? She won't quit calling me now…
• I miss you & want to see you, but this dumb security guard won't let me in the zoo. Is there any way you can escape?
• I just met your twin. – She’s just like you, she won’t stop grabbing my ass / asking me out
• I'm naked...quit day-dreaming!
• You know what I love about you? I feel so smart when I'm around you
• What's cuter, a pony the size of a kitten, or a kitten the size of a pony?
• If I was a pickup artist, you'd so be mine!
• I can’t sleep. Stop snoring so loud
• Is that you right now in my tree again? The neighbors are going to call the cops on you, and I’m not bailing you out this time. I warned you about this type of behavior!
• I'm going to lure girls back to my house with candy. Do you prefer skittles or M&Ms?
• Gorgeous, funny, charming, and lovable... Well enough about me, how are you doing?
• Hey, remember how I’m psychic? Clean out those dirty thoughts of me in your head, I’m with my family…
• Stop undressing me with your eyes.
• I have a question hon. Can you handle an honest compliment? – Good, so can I. You go first
• I was just at the beach and I saw a fish. It reminded me of you

FYI, the lines came from this thread:
http://www.stylelife.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=55995


3) Follow up
Take their answer or reply and send back something funny and don't be afraid to bust on them a bit. However, you need to snip & stack to get things moving forward quickly, otherwise the vibe may stall.


4) Logistics
Seed the D2 or follow-up plans if we already time-bridged.


5) Pacing
Generally speaking I try to take as long as they do to reply. If it takes them an hour or two to reply, then I do the same. It's a good way of matching interest levels and not coming across as needy. The goal is to convey the subtext of always being busy without saying you are. Just make them wait. Never text back immediately even if you aren't busy. Wait about 10 minutes anyway. If they are taking longer then that to respond, again, wait the amount of time they took (within reason) to respond. All that being said, you may need to answer back quickly in the beginning if THEY ARE REPLYING QUICKLY. If they take the slow boat then you should too.


6) Know when to stop
If they text more and more and start trying to have a conversation then just call. Too much is lost in texting. At least with a phone call you can be quick, hear the tone and pacing of their voice, etc. Finish up what needs to be said and get off the damn thing.

Attraction

Attraction is the very thing nice guys the world over don't understand. They feel that by becoming friends first, getting to know the hotties, then think they can build a relationship. Naturally as soon as they make a move they get the "lets just be friends" speech, or some iteration thereof. There's a reason for this: the women aren't attracted.

Attraction isn't a choice, as the saying goes. And without attraction if you get comfortable with women you end up "just friends", and as many guys know that usually involves being sexually frustrated if you're attracted to the women in this stereotypically situation. How do you fix that? The answer is simple: build attraction first. I know what you're thinking, "But you just said attraction isn't a choice, so how I get her attracted?" That my friends is the "secret" I'm focusing on today.

Attraction comes in a couple varieties, namely the deep emotional attraction that makes women love and the light and fleeting attraction of buying temperature spikes. Both are required to get women attracted and interested.

BT spiking is critical for getting quick compliance and being fun. The goal is a feeling if elation and will make women (temporarily) want you to stay. This is also bad in a sense because you can become dancing monkey if you don't move things foward.

The traditional attraction switches espoused by being "alpha" are what will keep women over the long run.

For the ladies...

Here's my short short version of relationship management for the women out there. If you really want a simple outline to follow for keeping your man happy and not stray:

1. Stay sexy. Don't let yourself go because "you're comfortable". It's a copout and a weak excuse for laziness.
2. Get your knees dirty. If you're satisfying your man at home then he won't have any reason to stray in order to have his *needs* fulfilled. It's that simple. And following Step 1 ensures he'll want to keep having sex with you.
3. Stop acting like a man. Emasculating your man through things like trying to take charge, belittling him, etc are all big turnoffs for most guys. Sure, there are some who are into that dom-submis fetish thing, but most guys aren't. And do you know what's a sub-category of that type of behavior? Nagging. No guy I've ever met enjoyed it. If you want us to shut down and start looking elsewhere then by all means nag nag nag.

That's it ladies, that's all there is to it. If you follow those 3 simple steps you'll find relationship bliss. Men will bend over backwards to please you night and day if you do the above. And if you're one of the stereotypical women that sits at home all day watching TV, this definitely applies to you. Trust me when I say this, because your man is thinking these very same things, but he's afraid to say them. I'll take the flak so they don't have to. Follow the above and it'll save you a ton of money on the therapists (or worst case: lawyers). All you have to do is put down the bon-bons, turn off Oprah or Judge Judy, have sex regularly-as in about once a day, and get your jiggly butts in the gym.

The fact of the matter is a LOT of the guys out there that are thinking the same things to an extent, but are just afraid to say it. That's partly why so many relationships fail. People are so caught up in being PC they can't speak their mind. Couple that with our culture where males have been programmed to think their own wants and needs should come second to their woman's and you're going to have problems.

The only way relationships can go the distances is if both parties are satisfied. Once upon a time that was the case. Granted it was usually the women putting in the work to make that happen, but with the advent of feminism women have shirked off that traditional role and it's now every person for themselves.

Until we strike a balance, both genders are going to suffer in the long term relationship department. What's worse is how western culture only holds that woman should be the ones satisfied, even if it comes at the expense of the man's well being. It's like some warped and misguided form of gender reparations.

Don't get me wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion and you're more than welcome to support the kind of paradigm we're currently socialized with, but don't think for a second everyone else is going to go along with it. There are plenty of guys out there like myself who aren't going stand for it. The reason for this: I'm actually for equality and mutual satisfaction. And I have the statistics to back it up. In fact, I contend it's the status quo that's frakked up right now. And if anyone wants to debate me, first just take a look at those divorce rates.

Give this a listen to, particularly the advice given around the 17 minute mark:
http://www.myprops.org/content/Are-You-That-Guy/

UPDATE:
Even CNN is even getting in on the action. They have 9 steps to keeping a relationship going:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/25/h.keep.marriage.healthy/index.html

Notice points 1, 3, and 4. Sound familiar? They should. I just told you to do the same in a more succinct way.