Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Newbie Guide: IOIs and IODs

This is the first entry of my Newbie Guide series where I'll be brain-dumping some foundation level knowledge for guys who've just started learning Game.

Indicators of Interest and Disinterest 

When women are interested or disinterested in a guy they’ll give signs to watch for called Indicators of Interest (IOI) and Indicators of Disinterest (IOD). There are verbal and non-verbal IOIs and IODs and may be active or passive. The entire reason to look for these is to understand how intersted or disinterested a woman may be in you. Note: if you see a Gatling gun of IOIs (IOIs in quick succession) it's best to move things forward with a quickness! Don't worry, I'll be posing an article on how to properly kino escalate in no time.

Active IOI Examples 

She re-initiates conversations when you stop talking (So….)
She giggles and/or laughs at your jokes, even if they’re not funny
She touches you
She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you
If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second
She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when she speaks with you
She smiles at you
While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you
She uses a functional opener on you or in any way initiates a conversation
She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said
She asks for personal details about you (name, age, job)
She compliments you
She is playful and tries to challenge you
She's punching your arm but laughing
She plays with her hair while talking to you
She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one
When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back
She avoids mentioning her boyfriend
When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction
She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking
She introduces you to friends She buys you a drink
She calls you a player or a heart-breaker
On her way out, she re-approaches you to tell you that she is leaving (Get her #)
On your way out, she asks you where you are going (Invite her)
She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have Isolation with you
She pushes up her breasts (sexual escalation)

Passive IOI Examples 

She stands nearby (proximity)
Her friends leave and she stays
She moves to see you and hangs with you for extended periods
If you move she follows you or waits for you
She doesn't flinch or pull back if you get close
When your bodies touch in some way she doesn’t break the contact
She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut)

The most important IOIs to look for are:
She giggles
She touches you
She re-initiates conversation when you stop talking

A special kind of IOI is an Approach Invitation, which is simply a cue to approach. The most typical approach invitation is a smile with some coy looking away followed by more smiling. However, there are other more subtle Approach Invitations women may give you.

Typical IODs 

Closed body language (crossed arms)
Not facing you
Lack of interest in a topic; not investing
Walking away
Telling you to leave

Note: When receiving IODs it’s important to mirror her body language and give an equal or slightly less amount of investment yourself so to avoid appearing needy. Do this until she begins to engage in the interaction.


As a general rule of thumb when you're just starting out, try to remember that when you get IODs the game isn't over until one of the following occurs:

1. They leave
2. They tell you to go away

As your social acuity improves you'll start to recognize the signs when they're not interested and are ignoring you vs just bsing with their friends and generally being social with the group you are now a part of. For the time being though, stay in there until they leave or tell you to go away. Risk creepy and really push your boundaries. It's honestly the best way to learn where the real lines of what's socially acceptable actually reside.

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