Thursday, July 17, 2008

Boyfriend Objections

Boyfriend Objections are the automatic responses women throw out if you telegraph too much interest or move too fast. Sometimes the boyfriend is real, other times they are not. As a rule of thumb treat the bf objection as a shit test. Basically when that happens it's just a test to see if you've got the stones to keep pushing. If he's real, she will definitely bring it up again and you can adjust your game accordingly, or stop gaming her and shift into making a pivot/pawn. If not, then you've just won points for being alpha enough to not let other men in her life bother you.

Simple ways of passing this test is to dismiss her comment, shift into a BT spike, or misinterpret her intent. Here are a few examples:

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: That's cute.

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: Me too! I taught mine to do back flips. What did you teach yours?
Her: Uh, nothing?
You: Bah! You're a terrible trainer.

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: Geez lady, I've known you all of 30 seconds and you're already telling me your life's problems.

Her: I have a boyfriend.
You: Whoa! Slow down there missy. You don't have to impress me with how "in demand" you are. I can decide for myself if you're interesting enough to date.

When you toss out one of this responses immediately move on to another subject. Poof! No more talk of a boyfriend. However, expect another mention later on if he is in fact real. Dealing with that however is another thing altogether.

Memorize a few and just keep them in the back of your mind for the next time a woman mentions a boyfriend in conversation.

And remember, "women are like monkeys." When I say women are like monkeys it's in the Tarzan sense of swinging from tree to tree. They don't let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on the next. Women are the same way with boyfriends & relationships. That's essentially Rule #1 why high quality women are so rarely single for any length of time.

Not wanting to go after a woman in a relationship, IMO, really comes down to being a limiting belief. Case in point: 50-60% of marriages fail in this country. Simple bf/gf relationships fail even more. Since women are rarely single for any length of time that means they're typically going directly from one man to the next. Once you face this reality then you can use it to your advantage. What it comes right down to, in all honesty, is that if boyfriends mattered so much women wouldn't give their numbers out to some certain types of men and tell others they're seeing someone (or in some cases turn out to be married!). Many women are on the lookout for the next best thing for a variety of reasons. If you're not that guy then someone else will be, and I see no reason why that guy can't by YOU!

To quote Decibel, a highly regarded member of the social arts community:

Make girls happy, that's your job. Take that girl out of her unhappy relationship and show her a better time. She'll thank you for it. She's not going to break up with her current BF for many reasons including: girls like sex and won't give it up needlessly; girls like having someone to hang out with and will overlook other problems in him but are constantly watching for better options; breaking up takes a bunch of emotional effort that many people avoid until something else is lined up.

I personally would get yourself past the boyfriend/girlfriend hurdle and keep gaming these 'unavailable' girls. It many times is just a fling that's gone on too long, and many of these chicks are more than happy to jump ship when a [high quality] guy...comes along.


You can't "steal" a girl, as ballsy as it sounds. She makes her mind up to go with the higher value man. All you can do is present a better option.

As far the ethics of it, there aren't any. All girls are fair game. You make your own rules about what's off limits, and then go from there. I hit on girls in front of their BFs all the time. I usually ask her if it's ok for me to do it. It's his problem, not mine.

Bottom line, there is no reason to wait or hold back from pursuing a woman you're interested in.

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