Shit Tests 101

Everyone in the manosphere has probably heard of shit tests by now, but I'm still surprised by how many guys aren't aware of this fundamental concept. So what exactly are shit tests (aka fitness tests)? Shit tests are things women do and/or say to test a man's congruence and actually serve a couple different purposes. Ultimately they are women's way of flirting. What she's doing when she's testing you is judging your response (consciously or not) to see if the two of you are on the same level. In many respects you can think of shit tests as a form of rapport break. For those familiar with AFC Adam's methodology this should be familiar. The problem is that most women have pretty bad game--you don't break rapport until you have some comfort and rapport to actually break--otherwise you're just going to come across as an asshole, which many women in fact do when they shit test too soon. When this happens just think in the back of your mind "aww, she's so cute she's trying to flirt, but just made herself look bad. Here, I'll respond in kind (rapport break for rapport break) and play along so she doesn't feel stupid or look bad in front of her friends". 

How do you handle Shit Tests? There are generally four methods for dealing with them:

• Ignore 
• Change the subject 
• Agree & Amplify (to absurdity) 
• Pressure-flip 

Ignoring is self-explainatory. If you're in person simply don't respond to her shit test. That could mean walking away, or invoking #2--changing the subject. 

Agree & Amplify is when you take her shit test, agree with it, and then take it to the upteenth level of ridiculousness. For example, if she asks if you're gay (which is actually a pretty huge social faux pas when you think about it) and respond with "oh yeah, totally, I suck dick morning noon and night. I'd so suck your dick if you had one!" and just keep going and making it over the top where you're basically making fun of her for saying something stupid or uncouth, to the point it's all just a big joke and she's laughing. That's when you've got her. You've taken her negativity and turned it positive. It's really a meta form of push-pull. 

Note: A more advanced version of this is repeated agree/disagree until she's becomes confused and it creates tension, and the back and forth emotional juggling gets a nice buying temperature spike. For example, if she asked if you're gay you'd respond "Oh yeah totally. Actually I'm not. No, I'm kidding a am (while shaking your head and mouthing "no I'm not"). 

A pressure-flip is when you answer so matter of factly, without emotion, and turn the spotlight around so it's on her, all in an abrupt manner. For example, if she asks what kind of car you drive: "Chevy, howaboutyou?" It's said so abruptly she likely won't be prepared to answer it. That catching her off guard and making her stumble is what you want. The main reason pressure-flips are good is because they demonstrate you're not phased by her bullshit and you can bring it and you're all on the same level. Tyler Durden of RSD does this all the time. His famous response is "what is it about xyz that turns you on?" or something similar. For example, if she says you look old. "What is it about older guys that turns you on so much?" (while holding eye contact) THAT is a powerful pressure-flip. Remember, the meta-level goal/point of pressure-flips are to build tension and then release it. That emotional juggling is push-pull in a nutshell. 

Relevant: 

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/10/23/good-examples-of-readers-passing-shit-tests/ 

COTWA recommended viewing

This comes courtesy of Community of the Wrongly Accused
Source: TopCriminalJusticeDegrees.org

Newbie Guide: Qualification and Disqualification

I've come to the conclusion that Qualification is arguably the most meaningful aspect of Game for men from a Red Pill perspective. The phrase “don’t stick your dick in crazy” is getting popular for a reason, and learning what a woman is all about, if she is a good match for you, is crucial if you ever intend on having long term relationships with women that won’t drive you crazy, or take you to the cleaners. Even short term relationships, flings/one-night stands, can greatly benefit from qualifying women, if for no other reason than your own personal safety. Case in point:

One-night stand man wakes to find lover has carved her name into his arm

Qualification is also key for developing a real relationship since it’s what drives investment levels. Through qualification you can drive up investment from women and also use it to determine her interest level in you. It’s also a very good way of showing you’re interested in her, and for more than just her looks. This goes a long way to deflecting the Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) and Last Minute Resistance (LMR) down the road.

Men with standards have said standards because they're successful with women. In other words they have abundance mentality as opposed to scarcity mentality that most men are faced with. The good news is that you can break free of this causal dynamic by demonstrating standards of your own, and by doing so can actually cause you to be perceived as a man of high status if for no other reason that being discriminating. In a way it’s almost a form of Reflective Preselection (see below). Another way of looking at it is that men that scrape and beg for sex--who lack abundance--cannot afford to qualify women. In other words, “beggars can’t be choosers”. Qualifying women flips this all around and makes you the prize!

Another positive aspect of qualifying women and having standards is that for a woman to be chosen by a man of high standards, it’s flattering to her own ego. The little girl in every woman wants to meet her Prince Charming and be swept off her feet. But more than that, knowing he chose HER, out of all the other women he had available to him, THAT’s powerful stuff. Qualification is best when it’s based on your own personal standards and goals, and the type of women you want to surround yourself with. This begins with establishing goals and setting standards and expectations regarding relationships and behaviors you will and will not tolerate. In short, there are 4 ways of qualifying women:

Qualifying statements

Small hoops

Medium hoops

Large hoops

Qualifying Statements are statements that frame someone in a positive light. For example, "I love how open-minded and free you are" or "I love how friendly you are". 

Small hoops are typically yes/no questions. 

Medium hoops are often follow-on questions to yes/no questions. For example, the small hoop may be "Do you cook?" If she answers yes then you could follow up with "What's your favorite thing to cook and why?" 

Large hoops are generally open-ended questions that ask for a lot of investment and tend to be deeply personal questions. For example, "how do you know you're in love?" or "what is your #1 sexual fantasy?" 

I usually start with qualifying statements to get the ball rolling and work from smaller hoops to medium and then larger hoops. If for some reason a woman won't jump through the medium or large hoop I've put in front of her then I'll shrink the hoop. If she complies partially I'll still give her props for complying, but still shrink the hoop or try qualifying her on something else. The point in this is that you never punish a woman for compliance, even if her answer didn't meet your standard or expectation. 

Managing objections/roadblocks – Disqualification

Disqualification is a powerful tool for mitigating problems during an interaction, such as disqualifying objections before they are made (creating comfort where a woman would be fearful of walking down a dark alley). Disqualification is also useful for breaking rapport (flirting) and can be used to framing others in a negative light. This is useful for getting others to want to fulfill expectations and getting them to qualify themselves to you. This is why qualification and disqualification used in tandem is so powerful.

A common roadblock men run into when meeting new people is the woman’s friends arriving in the middle of an interaction. A great way to prevent this from becoming an issue is by asking her who she’s there with. As people arrive you should then introduce yourself and explain you were just talking about them, followed by killing them with kindness. This works just as well for the alpha female of the group, which is the worst case scenario in my opinion, to defusing potential bad situations when a jealous boyfriend appears out of nowhere. Remember, there’s no reason you shouldn’t talk to everyone. Even if they’re not interested, they may have friends that are. You won’t be able to win over every woman, and that’s okay. When you can’t make a woman your girlfriend it’s time to start thinking of ways of making her into a girl…friend.

Note: An example of Reflective Preselection is taking women with you to a bar or club who aren't interested in you sexually. By having women with you, the women in the venue can be interested in you due to the preselection afforded you by the women you arrived with. Because the women in the venue get interested it can cause the women you arrived with to become interested as well. This phenomenon is a key component of social circle game.

Newbie Guide: Setting Goals

It really bothers me sometimes how directionless many guys are these days, particularly those in their early and mid 20s. By your late 20s or early 30s there's really no excuse for not having an answer when I ask you what you're looking for in a relationship, or even if you're interested in traditional relationships in the first place. My point is this:

How can anyone help you find success in life if you don't know what you want out of it? 

Don't get me wrong, I was pretty much the same when I was that age, but then again I didn't have the benefit of online blogs, social networking, and all of the wisdom the internet has to offer that it does today. As such, here's my contribution. It works just as well for improving fitness as it does for getting women or earning a degree:

Setting Goals

Be specific

Write down goals in specific detail so you can clearly see what you plan to attain and how to achieve it. State exactly what you want and how you plan to get the results you seek, such as who can help and what training you may require.

What? What do you want to accomplish (short & long term)? Where? Identify locations & venues you will do the activities.
When? Establish time frames for short & long term goals. What is your target date? Who? Who can help you reach your goals? Do you seek mentoring, expert advice, or wings to help you in field?

Measurable

Establish metrics to track your progress. Keep a documented record of your successful steps toward your goals.

How many? Do you have a goal of approaching a certain amount of women per day/night/week/month/year?

How long? Do you have a goal of spending a specific amount of time meeting women?

Tracking

Tracking your successes can help encourage you to keep going and give you solid feedback on our efforts and whether something is working or not. The best strategy for sticking to goals is to keep track of your progress on a daily basis by writing it down every day. This very act of writing down activities/steps taken has been shown to improve results and to encourage consistency. It allows you to learn more about your habits, stay accountable to yourself, and keep track of any progress or slips.

A good record includes the following:

• Type of activities.
• How long you spent doing that activities.
• Intensity of the effort. Did you push your own boundaries or did you play it safe?
• Comments about any difficulties to help you in problem solving for the future.

Practicality

Are the goals reasonable and achievable in the time allotted?

Staying on track

Maintaining progress is one of the hardest challenges when trying to make changes to your life, whether it be changing a habit, fitness, or improving your communication skills. Getting started can be difficult, but staying committed is even harder. The key to successfully navigating obstacles to maintaining your progress is to acknowledge slips will happen despite your best efforts to plan for them. The key is to build consistencies and a regular schedule and to get back on that horse as soon as you get thrown off. There are several things you can do to help stay on target:

1. Keep it meaningful! Continue to remind yourself of the personal benefits you'll get when you achieve your goals. Setting and keeping meaningful goals that are realistic and attainable will increase the likeliness of success. You are much more likely to strive towards a goal you care about and feel close to accomplishing.
2. Reward yourself! Rewards increase the likelihood that you will do it again. When you reach a metric give yourself a reward. Create rewards for both short-term and long-term goals.
3. The earlier you catch slips the better. If caught early a slip does NOT have to signal an inevitable downward spiral. Again, slips are inevitable and accepting that and moving on when they happen is the best course of action. The most important thing to do when slips occur is to not let it turn into a string of slips or affect your new habits and collapse your changes in behavior you've been working towards.
4. Have a plan for dealing with slips. Again, don’t wait to initiate corrective actions. The most important thing is to get back on track as soon as possible. Do NOT wait until Monday or the beginning of the month to "start fresh".

Learn from the past. You an identify many of these slips from past experience. Think back and identify situations in which you remember having a particularly difficult time sticking to your plan.

Plan in advance. When you know similar situations are coming (i.e. holidays, family vacations, etc), start planning for how to deal with them in advance. If you wait until you are in the midst of the situation you are not likely to come up with an effective solution. Use the information from past struggles to guide your planning and identify past hurdles that will need to be overcome.

The measures of success are not whether there are dips in your progress, but whether overall you are progressing in spite of occasional slips.

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Having standards and screening for them

Once you’ve got an idea of what your goals are the next step is to figure out how to screen for them. An example is if you wanted a woman who could cook, is to ask her if she cooks. If she does, by all means tell her that’s great and add in some kino to punctuate the point. If a woman ever complies with your request but doesn’t live up to your standard, be sure to validate her compliance. Never punish compliance even if it’s not the answer or response you were looking for. Instead either shrink the hoop or qualify her on another topic that’s of interest to you. Don't freak out, I'll be covering Qualification in detail pretty soon.